Wife is talking to her lawyer today. Man she is in a hurry. I have a sneaking (okay strong) idea that her "boyfriend" wants the divorce done. I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to date a married woman either.
Sorry to hear about the lawyers....one of the many things you told me is not to give up and to hang in there. Listen, we won't soften the reality of the situation here. We are two buddies after all....things are not looking good because there is another person in your W's life right now....sad to say but that is her number one priority. Keep the door ajar in case the grass starts to turn yellow. At that time you will decide what you want to do. You sound like the long weekend away with the kids did you some good and the following weekend may do you a different kind of good...in that sense I am happy for you. I just want Woog to slowly work his way to a new happy.
In all honesty I am hiking the trail to happyville (to loose borrow someone's title). I really don't have any interest in having her back at this point. And, quite frankly, she's been looking like crap lately.
What does bother me is what this is doing to my kids. I had thought they were rolling with it at least somewhat, but I was wrong. What she is doing to them I'll never forgive her for.
Kids tend to be hopeful while both parents are still in the same house even if they know something is wrong. After separation reality hits them hard, in my case much harder than I ever imagined. I think the same happened to you and that's why you thought they had taken it better than they actually do.
Many times I have thought the exact same phrase "I may forgive him for what he has done to me but I will NEVER forgive him for what he has done to our kids". Other times -when I am very mad- I am thinking my best "revenge" would be to find a man that will love me and my kids and BE there for them and GIVE them what he chose NOT to: his physical presence and his love every single day of their lives. Unfortunately this option, although it would probably make me feel better it would not fill the void in their hearts.
I would suggest to try to discuss with the kids as much as you can although it will be painful for you and them. Fears are no longer as hurtful once they are out in the open. You as a father have been lucky to have your kids but for them being "rejected" by their mother must be even harder.
Kid's T in my case, insisted that we talk about it and that I would listen and give them comfort as ofte as possible. Pretty soon their need to talk subsided. It has helped a lot, especially with my S who is as she says behaving as a 16yr old. He even draws himself taller than his dad nowdays...
Sorry I haven't been around. I am glad you and the kids enjoyed the weekend. Sorry things with your W are so sucky. She is probably not as hippity happy as she may wish she were, which is why she is sad/down/looking like crap. And she will be quite surprised to find out that getting it "over with" won't be the magic pill, either.
Glad you are hiking the trail, maybe we can hike together!? And I hope you have a ton of fun with the teacher--now I have that video in my head (Hot for teacher). It used to play on the big screen at the skating rink in junior high.
