Mishka - you need to go to Darboyd's thread and read a post from Amy C - I think it is on page 3 or 4 - couple of days back. Sheis VERY clear. MLCers do NOT choose to do this to us. We are not their victims unless we choose to be. Your damaged feelings are valid. Your victimhood is not
In case you did not know AMYC is unusual in that she went through MLC and comes back to post. She knows what the mind of the MLCer is like and how painful it is to be there. The MLCer is not out there being horrible for the heck of it. They have been seized by forces beyond their oontrol. She also advocates being tough with them.
In most book clubs you get to have a say about what you read, and personally I like being challenged to read things I might not otherwise read. All of life is about moving outside our comfort zone, and being open to new ideas and new experiences. You would rather sit at home than discuss a book that you did not choose, fine, but, brutally a bit limited. . . .
Sorry for the tough love Mishka, but on these boards I see two broad groups of people. Those who grow and flower during this MLCBS and those who get stuck, and have a terrible time. The ones that grow turn their pain and suffering into something positive. Think of the threads you like to read . . . Cinders, and Jeanette for example [sorry to sigle out only two, there are many]. They have both had a very tough time, we are there for them, but their hearts are open, and I would want to spend time with them.
And that is our choice. I am writing this because I think you can be one of those really positive people. You have already accomplished so much.
