Snow White...the Ontario laws sound a LOT more fair than the ones in Illinois. The way things are in my sitch my husband is going to end up making a lot of money off of having this affair.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Oh mine can too, if he decided to fight for it, he can get spousal support and part of my pension, I like you make quite a bit more than my H. No fault.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
What about just buying him out of the house and just have your name on it. Then think about how you want to proceed regarding a divorce. I know you really want your marriage to work, I think that is why we are all here in the first place. I wish I had the answers for you and you could have the answers for me! (((((Sara))))). kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I will have to think about that. In a way I regret having his name on the house in the first place. The down payment came from my life's savings as well as an inheritance I had from my Grandparents and I have made every single house payment for the past 2 years we have lived there. So he has given nothing towards the house. But at the time we were happily married and chose the house together, so how could I have known differently?
H TMed me last night. When I heard it go off I thought...."oh no, he is sending me a message saying that he is ticked off about the things I did." But instead it just said "Goodnight Sara." I wonder why he sends me those types of messages all of the time. What is going on in his mind?
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Don't feel bad about having his name on the house. I have gotten grief (from some family members) about having mine and H's name on everything. But how could you know this was going to happen? When you are married, I feel like you are supposed to own these things together.
It just sucks how the D process is. I hate no fault D's. It is also ridiculous that it is easier to get a D than a legal separation in your state. A lot of states don't even have legal separations.
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I wonder why he sends me those types of messages all of the time.
Honestly I think he does it because he knows it controls you, and you have to admit to some extent it does...I know it did me whenever my h would do things like that.
The down payment came from my life's savings as well as an inheritance I had from my Grandparents and I have made every single house payment for the past 2 years we have lived there. So he has given nothing towards the house. But at the time we were happily married and chose the house together, so how could I have known differently?
Sara is there something in the laws that address that? Illinois is not a community property state so if you have all of the records showing that you made the down out of your savings (marital property) and an inheiritance (could be non-marital property depending on certain factors)and you made all of the payments, they will have to take that into consideration.
I'm so sorry that its coming to this, I am going to have to do the same thing just to protect me and my kids from H's pregnant Troll, who is likely to take whatever she can get no matter what.
Good luck and I understand about the texts too...believe actions, not words. (((((Sara)))))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Your situation is making me ill. It's really so completely unfair and WRONG. Does your H not have a conscious? He should feel OVERWHELMED with guilt. How could he take $$$ from you for the house you've poured your life savings into after all he's done??????????? He needs to treat you with more respect. If he wants to stay in your house, how can he continue to spend time with OW? I guess it's because he's afraid of her. Grow some cajones, Sara's husband!!!! His moral compass is completely skewed right now.
I hope you're doing OK today, Sara. How soon can you speak to your pastor?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
The down payment came from my life's savings as well as an inheritance I had from my Grandparents and I have made every single house payment for the past 2 years we have lived there. So he has given nothing towards the house. But at the time we were happily married and chose the house together, so how could I have known differently?
Sara is there something in the laws that address that? Illinois is not a community property state so if you have all of the records showing that you made the down out of your savings (marital property) and an inheiritance (could be non-marital property depending on certain factors)and you made all of the payments, they will have to take that into consideration.
I'm so sorry that its coming to this, I am going to have to do the same thing just to protect me and my kids from H's pregnant Troll, who is likely to take whatever she can get no matter what.
Good luck and I understand about the texts too...believe actions, not words. (((((Sara)))))
Well when I looked into that, the lawyer said something about how inheritence that goes towards a purchase of a house is marital property. I don't understand all of the legal stuff but basically I was told that he has a right to get half of the house. Which in all actuality isn't THAT much, but would be enough for him to get a half way decent apartment.
Since H doesn't seem to be wanting to end it with the OW anytime soon, it looks like this is the only route for me to take. Just offer him the money for the house and he signs the papers that ends the marriage. It will cost me a LOT of money (which my Dad is offered to let me borrow but I just don't have it). I am not comfortable with the decision. I want to talk to my H first and sort of tell him these things. But my work schedule and his school schedule don't match up right now. When I am getting off work, he is leaving for school.
Which leaves me here on the last full day of school. I have broken up 2 fights, had to sub for a teacher and have a very long meeting I am required to attend after school. Not a fun day in the least. Right now I have to focus on finishing up the school year. I figure I can really focus on divorce stuff after this week.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
