My H and I are exactly the same. For this he says I will always be a special friend. What a load of cr@p!! Sorry I am not really sure where I am in my mind frame today since I didn't even get a card! kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hi Jeff...just checking in on you before I leave for my mom's.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Thanks for checking in on me Sara, and everyone else
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Karen43: The funny (maybe sad?) thing about this is that I kind of think H believes that too, that he will be faithful to his next wife, but not me because he "doesn't love me anymore".
I hate this crap, they are all the same way, love is a decision, its hard work, I don't love you crap, we all have been married long enough, I asked my W what she was doing playing a game with my life, her response "I thought I was doing what I was expected to do, find a good man, get married and have children" - she couldn't have figured this out sooner, took her 10 years to call do over.
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Kat727: My H and I are exactly the same. For this he says I will always be a special friend. What a load of cr@p!!
W wants to be my friend also, I just want to throw-up, here let me screw you over, leave you and then be your friend.
Like I told Sara, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive my W, right now I just want her to leave and stay away, unfortunately, we have kids and she is going to be in my face my whole life, so I get to be reminded of all this crap my whole life, I know most of you do too, I'm sorry, just venting. It will get better.
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. Why is the right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 5 days
W just called and said, she told D9 she was moving out. W to D9, "you know how I'm not at home much in the evening, well I'm not going to be home in the evening at all, because I got my own place" D9 didn't seem to care and W told her she would be there for them. She will them all summer, which is great for kids and W can slowly move the little stuff over to her place. This is tuff on me, I'll play along, just thinking of what L will say to judge "W abandoned her kids" I will have full custody.
I don't like this, its upsetting me, I will have to watch my temper as she walks away
I wish she wouldn't call me at work with this stuff, Moving Van comming Saturday afternoon, I'm to take kids Saturday and keep them out of the house all day.
D9 and D6,D6 were talking to me last night before bed about me not leaving them ??? I told them I would never leave them, that I would always be with them, (I'm pretty much the only one with them at night right now)
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. Why is the right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! Moving Van comming Saturday May 31st
W just called and said, she told D9 she was moving out. W to D9, "you know how I'm not at home much in the evening, well I'm not going to be home in the evening at all, because I got my own place" D9 didn't seem to care and W told her she would be there for them. She will them all summer, which is great for kids and W can slowly move the little stuff over to her place. This is tuff on me, I'll play along, just thinking of what L will say to judge "W abandoned her kids" I will have full custody.
I don't like this, its upsetting me, I will have to watch my temper as she walks away
I wish she wouldn't call me at work with this stuff, Moving Van comming Saturday afternoon, I'm to take kids Saturday and keep them out of the house all day.
D9 and D6,D6 were talking to me last night before bed about me not leaving them ??? I told them I would never leave them, that I would always be with them, (I'm pretty much the only one with them at night right now)
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. Why is the right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! Moving Van comming Saturday May 31st
Jeff, I'm so sorry. I really don't know the answer to this question, so I'm throwing it out to everyone. Is it better to have the kids there during the move so that they can see that it is real? or should he take them out? If you take them out, I think you should make it one of their most fun days of the summer. Take them to six flags or to Union station. I bet they would love that..and it might take your mind off of things. My only worry is that your wife might try to empty you out as she takes more stuff than she says she will. In any case Jeff, we are here for you. Keep being who you are...that is a kind hearted, loving father and HUSBAND. Don't back down from evil, STAND for what is right and just. God will provide.
My H also did take some of the stuff in the house I didn't expect: most of the pictures on the walls (they were from his family inherited or given by his family to us in his defense), and if you don't want to prevent that kind of misunderstanding probably good to be there. I don't know, I was advised by others here also to have the kids there and be there at least some of the time so that your W realizes the full impact of what she is doing (leaving her kids). I also think it might be good for the kids to see at least a little of what is going on (your W moving out) so they realize what is going on; you aren't keeping them in the dark and then springing on them after a fun trip or day. My brother was kept in the dark about my mom being sick for example, and to this day is still upset they didn't keep him informed so he would have time to grieve & deal with it (she died when he was 14). Something I like to keep in mind with my kids anyway.
But on the other hand if you will lose it and cry the whole time or whatever I don't think that is good for the kids either. I was able to be just fine and in fact, by the time my H moved out after having the affair for several months, I felt a great sense of relief at H moving out. Helped him pack up and move out quite a bit; and it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be! So I think you have to maybe consider what will be best for you and your kids and do that (which might be staying or leaving). But maybe if you aren't there you could have a family member of yours or close friend or something there to make sure your W doesn't raid the house? B/c I think that could happen even if you don't expect it! Karen
W just called and said, she told D9 she was moving out. W to D9, "you know how I'm not at home much in the evening, well I'm not going to be home in the evening at all, because I got my own place" D9 didn't seem to care and W told her she would be there for them. I don't like this, its upsetting me, I will have to watch my temper as she walks away
I might be wrong but it sounds to me like your W has already emotionally checked out of your R and from your kids as well. I think kids are much smarter than we give them credit, b/c I know my kids figured that out before me I am pretty sure. Having the empty shell that is formerly your W around doesn't probably help the situation, and in my opinion, it is probably often harder having the WAS around when they are emotionally checked out and disconnected. I know it was painful for me and I imagine it is painful and scary for the kids as well.
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ID9 and D6,D6 were talking to me last night before bed about me not leaving them ??? I told them I would never leave them, that I would always be with them, (I'm pretty much the only one with them at night right now)
I think having seen your W emotionally check out on them (if that is the case) and soon to move out completely that must be scary and they are worried you will do the same. I know after my mom died (I was 4) I was worried my Dad would die also. It's probably kind of the same thing for them. I guess just being extra reliable, dependable, stable, not breaking promises and all the stuff I'm sure you are already doing, and they will realize that. Of course reassuring them like you did is important too I'm sure. I think kids are also stronger than we give them credit for too, esp. if they have a good solid parent still like they do in your case. Karen
Puppy, W has never had a legal consultation, why ?? I've been so helpful, I've given her everything she has wanted, I have been friendly and accomidating, remember Puppy getting upset with me for being so nice, now I get what I want, her out of the house and the kids
Thanks GERM04, I'm going to take the kids out, I've pretty much had the kids every weekend to myself for the last six months, W was training for her marathon, and now she just leaves every Saturday morning. Come to think about it, seeing mom at home on a Saturday morning and not leaving will be strange for the kids.
W and I already discussed what she is taking, I really don't care, I can always replace a chair or dish, or whatever, as long
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. Why is the right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! Moving Van comming Saturday May 31st
Karen