You're not going to feel much worse than this. And I join with the others in expressing my sadness for what you found out.
While this is fresh on your heart and mind is definitely NOT the time to make potentially life changing decisions.
The presence of the OM on the other hand changes things between the two of you. While she is seeing OM, she gets nothing from you. Contact should be limited to making arrangements for the children or financial matters only.
This is also the time, if you're looking for legal action, to at least consider a legal separation. If you can afford an attorney, the legal separation would at least protect you from any financial bad decisions she might make in entertaining in her adulterous lifestyle. It would also spell out visitation very clearly, as well as any temporary support that would need to be paid.
I think it's a good idea, especially given that she is involved with other people.
You clearly cannot trust her word on ANYTHING at this time.
Do your best to avoid prolonged conversations centered on questions like she asked you today. Simple responses that are TRUE for you are the way to go, then end the conversation.
You do NOT want a divorce. Your wife however has cheated on you, at least once. You now need to use her ACTIONS and not her words when making your decisions because she cannot be trusted.
Don't decide today whether or not you can find healing from her affair. The answer today would probably be no, but might change in a few weeks. Instead focus on you and your involvement with the kids. Continue taking care of yourself and close the door a bit on interactions with your wife. She is not someone you want to be involved with right now anyway.
And for what it's worth, I'd say a LOT of this has to do with her new body and the attention she has gathered. Life with men throwing their bodies at you, absent the daily responsibilities of being wife and Mom, probably is intoxicating right now.
Sorry for you.
But you can get thru this if you want to.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
