From experience, Piglet's math isn't quite right (sorry piglet). Statutorily there is a formula that is based on total income, income percentages, number of children and percentage of time that your D is with each of you. The bottom line is it isn't just income X percentage.
Piglet is right, you need to have the support court managed. Personally, I am not required to do that, but if I am more than 15 days late one time, CW can make me pay through the courts, which I pay an additional fee. In your sitch, I would push to have the courts facilitate the payment.
There is negotiation to the support amount as well. Generally the support cannot go above the statutory requirement, but you can negotiate it....I did and I am paying below the requirement.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I'd like to sit with my mom this weekend also and go through expenses. She's an accountant, bookkeeper....etc. for the company she works for. She's very good at crunching numbers and looking at everything. She'd be able to help me see what I can/cannot afford on my own. I will need H's help with daycare, but if he for some reason doesn't step up for anything other than that, I think I can still handle things.
SueS
Hi, Sue, hope you're doing well! This all sounds pretty good--I have to do that too, list all the bills as H wants the list and need to do that anyway. I've been procrastinating on that--it's great that your mom is going to help you with that!!! Karen
Hi Sues, Have a wonderful weekend with your family. I'm sure it will feel nice to get a little TLC from your parents. You deserve it. You do such a wonderful job with your daughter. I hope you get a little pampering this weekend.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Well, I put one more foot forward in my part of the split. I put an application in for an apartment. I hope to hear something this week. A screening company called me this morning to verify some information, so I know they're working on it. I think H will be shocked to find that I've done this.
My weekend was very good.....other than the speeding ticket I received on the way to my parents. D4 immediately asked if the officer was going to take us to jail! I told her that he would just tell mommy to slow down.
On Friday D4 and I stopped on our way out of town so D4 could have lunch with H. We got to my parent's house and just hung out. It didn't take long before my oldest niece came & swooped D4 up and took her to her place. Whew, a good night sleep for mommy!
On Sat. the town had a kite day. D4 helped my mom plant flowers and then they took her to kite day. We just had a nice family time on Sat. night, which included my cousin, whom I'm very close with. We did get some bad weather, but not what some of you received.
On Sun. we took D4 to a place called Storybook Land. It's a great place that's all based around story book characters. Fun! Spent time with my grandmother & hung out with my sister, BIL & their friends on Sun. night.
On Monday we just took off for home. The weekend went WAY too fast. H called a couple of times over the weekend. I didn't see his call on Sat., so we didn't talk to him that day. He probably wondered why. We talked to him on Sun. & then before we left on Mon. He called on our way home asking when we'd be home, if we'd like dinner when we got there....etc. Again, he's seeing Sue detach and although he still wants out, he's trying to keep some sort of hold on me. He was even a little flirty when we got home. He hinted at wanting D4 to sleep in her own bed last night so he could come into the bedroom. Didn't happen.
Well, it's a busy, busy day today. Have a good one everyone!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
H called me over lunch today. We talked for about 20 minutes. He mentioned some friends of ours that were going on a trip & we started talking about family. I asked him if he'd told his dad yet about us. He said no. One, he wants to let the split between his brother & SIL to sink in for his dad first. Two, he admits that he does not feel like being lectured. That 2nd point just tells me that he knows what he's doing is wrong. If he felt it were right he wouldn't have a problem telling him.
During our conversation, I brought up the fact that we need to go through our storage unit and get through some things. I asked H when he was moving. He said he doesn't know and asked me when I was going to move. I told him it would be at the end of our lease. I flat out told him that I wanted him to start talking to me. He said about what? I told him that this split is happening.....we both know that and have accepted it. I told him that I no longer want to be told by anyone else that my H is moving out in June and the other plans that he may have. My H was silent. He asked who had told me. I told him about my last conversation with OW's H. I said, H, I want YOU to talk to me. I want to hear the things that will affect me & D4 from YOU. I didn't want to, but was crying. H had some choice things to say about OW's H. I wanted to tell him that what he was saying was making no sense. He's bashing OW's H, but yet he's the one tearing 2 families apart. H completely changed the subject. He asked if it was nice outside and if I'd want to take D4 to the park when he got home. He then talked about having dinner together. LOST, LOST, LOST!!
I told a friend today that it seems as if my H knows he's taken things too far and that he can't turn back. He tries to ease his guilt by telling me that he won't take things from me when he moves & that he'll still spend time with me & D4 so she can be with both her mom & dad.
Odd, odd beginning to my afternoon.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Yep, same here with OW's H and my H. Made no sense, so I stopped trying to understand it.
Glad you had a great weekend, and super YAY to the application for the apartment. H is probably freaking out on the inside, he is all talk and no action. And yes, I think he feels he can't turn back to you. Same as mine, too much guilt, too much work. And remember? We are boring!!
Yep, same here with OW's H and my H. Made no sense, so I stopped trying to understand it.
Same here. My H actually called the OW's H (now ex H) a snake in the grass. H got furious when I would get phone calls from him. Unbelieveable. When I think of a snake I think of sneaky, isn't that what our spouses and their new partners tried to be. Actually they weren't as sneaky as they thought they were. Unreal how everyone is bad except them.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Karen
Unreal how everyone is bad except them.