will it last this time?

[lise]

I think I belong here...don't really know for sure. Are you ever completely sure the recommitment is real?

H has suddenly ended his EA that began 4 years ago, was put on hold for 3 years (after I found out), and rekindled 3 months ago when our M floundered. Now he wants to move back home again after 2 months trying the "other path". He has done an about-face - all apologetic, professing his love for me, admitting his mistakes and issues... It feels as sudden and dramatic as his decision to end our M.

But at the same time I am not surprised... shocked, but not surprised. There were lots of warning signs before he actually left, and there were plenty of signs that he wasn't completely gone even after he left. I KNEW he was confused. I was SURE he would eventually see the light even though EVERYONE else was completely buying his story and advising me to move on. I could tell he had doubts and still loved me even though he couldn't commit to me. The DB techniques worked like a charm every time I saw him and I am sure they are how I survived this dark and lonely time and they are why he is here wanting to try again.

But now I am confused by my confusion. He has had a pattern of infidelity that I only found out about 3 years ago. He never wanted to leave the M until this last one (an EA) but he had fooled around several other times just "to get his needs met." I thought I wanted him back, worked hard to keep the door open for him, but now wonder if I can handle the uncertainty of his ability to ever be truly faithful to me. My counselor compared it to learning to accept the risks of living with an addict. He is starting to deal with his issues... I think. It feels different than 3 years ago when we first started dealing with this and he tried to end the R with OW.

I am different, he is different. But are we really? Will it last this time? What signs do I need?