I'm ready now for a new R because I enjoy having someone to share things with - and of course there's the physical benefits as well. But when I've talked to other women I almost immediately notice that I just don't relate to them like I do my W - the way she and I communicate has always been a powerful part of our R and I know I'll probably never find that again. It's hard for me to think about what a new R will look like - I realize it's going to be different, built on different dynamics.
I could have written that too. I think after 20 years being with someone that new R's and friendships just can't compete with that level of intimacy which some of that, maybe most of that, has come with time spent with a person. I think it is impossible to have that instantly, and when my H says he loves the OW like that (in less than a week supposedly) I don't think that is genuine love & intimacy, but I think comes with time only after months and maybe years of a R. I do think though that if/when we divorce, we will also have opportunities to have just as fullfilling relationships, if not more so with all the work we have done on ourselves, but guess you just have to be patient to have the close intimacy part. And you know I think b/c of our intimacy, my H and took each other for granted as well and in our case not spending time together without the kids, etc. and that is the negative of that, something I will also try to avoid in the future. Karen
But when I've talked to other women I almost immediately notice that I just don't relate to them like I do my W - the way she and I communicate has always been a powerful part of our R and I know I'll probably never find that again. It's hard for me to think about what a new R will look like - I realize it's going to be different, built on different dynamics.
