I'm glad you are GALing and having a great time. I'm also glad to read how you were more amused by her hiding out in the bathroom with her cell phone rather than feeling hurt or angry by it (sometimes this stuff really is funny!). That's a step towards detachment! Although I have to warn you, you are still on a rollar coaster and will probably have plenty more ups and downs. That's very normal.
The thing I found that helped me with detachment was not buying into the fantasy of S and OP's "relationship." It is all fantasy, and a realtionship based on many of the flimsy things these A's are based on are almost always bound to have it's own ups and downs and very difficult times. Yeah, they feel romantic and wonderful in the beginning, but at some point people have to deal with one another's imperfections (which can be even more annoying than a previous spouse you've had years to get used to). Nothing is perfect, and dating D people and dealing with minor children from previous marriages is bound to be VERY far from perfect. Statistically very few work well......
Not that she'd ever believe it. Don't even bother trying to tell her that. She'd just see it as you trying to coerce her or control her. She'll have to figure these things out on her own. And who knows maybe she really will be in the 1% that do have a decent realtionship. But it's just very very unlikely. And this is nothing you should worry about because you have to focus more on you and treat yourself very well...
Think: Healing and growth, being good to you, following some dreams, using the time to understand yourself better, read and learn about women and relationships, read up on great sex, etc.... look at what it will take to be the best boyfriend or H possible at some future date... (that doesn't mean you aren't hoping the M will stay together, it's preparing for wherever the road leads). That is what I have learned is all we can do when this sort of thing happens.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
