that's a good question and one I've asked myself again and again.
I'm ready now for a new R because I enjoy having someone to share things with - and of course there's the physical benefits as well. But when I've talked to other women I almost immediately notice that I just don't relate to them like I do my W - the way she and I communicate has always been a powerful part of our R and I know I'll probably never find that again. It's hard for me to think about what a new R will look like - I realize it's going to be different, built on different dynamics.
And to be honest, my W and I went through an almost identical experience 9 years ago - I can almost look back at my journals and see where she's at, or at least I feel I can do that but maybe this time is different. Anyway, she did reach a point where she realized her relationship with OM wasn't working and thought being alone was the answer, but kept thinking about and wanting to talk with me. After 2 months of that, she called me and told me she realized what we had. Of course after that, there were 2 more months of back and forth, with her changing her mind again, but when she finally committed, everything was great (until now). So part of me says, be patient - the same thing will happen. But then I ask, why do I want her back when she clearly hasn't dealt with herself and is perfectly capable of creating these problems over and over again? And of course the common thread between now and then is her focusing on her career and seeing any R as competition.
So I don't know - I guess I'm stumbling about hoping the answer will become more obvious with time. I'm just trying to concentrate on making my life better and am putting myself out there and not being closed to anything that might happen. I thought I'd wait until D was final before I started looking around again, but I'm seeing less and less of a reason to do that now. That said, I'm also not actively pursuing anyone to date.
Long post, I know, but a question I keep thinking about.
But when I've talked to other women I almost immediately notice that I just don't relate to them like I do my W - the way she and I communicate has always been a powerful part of our R and I know I'll probably never find that again. It's hard for me to think about what a new R will look like - I realize it's going to be different, built on different dynamics.
