He's "done". Period.

[7 Year Itch]

Hi Kris

A for asking him to move, I really feel like I'm asking for me and the girls. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I hope it strikes a cord, or that the actual separation makes him see some things, but no, I definitely would not be bluffing. I desperately want him to stay, but not in this current state. If we were actively working towards something together, I'd endure it, but it's too painful to just coexist together, with the big D hanging overhead daily. And I NEED to get back to real life, and I feel like my whole life just totally stalled this last 6 weeks, and it's not good.

As for the affair thing. I truly do not think so. He's hurting me incredibly, but I still think he's got a lot of integrity and I've seen no signs. No unexplained absences, no weird phone calls (and yes I'm ashamed to admit I have snooped on his cell phone out of desperation looking for "the truth" ). And of course I have directly asked him. I could eat all these words in the future and feel even more like a fool, but I truly do not think he is having an affair.

For GAL things, I know that I've lost 20 lbs in the last weeks (just do to stress) and has lost 12 prior to that when I was trying to lose weight, so I'd like to really keep that going and now work on toning etc. My H is a major athlete and has worked out daily for our 12 years. I on the other hand have always been more a homebody. I'm a crafter, gardener, scrapbooker etc...... But I'd like to now get in "fighting" shape. LOL. So I'm hoping to start working out. I'd like to get back to my scrapbooking (haven't done anything in ages), already have planted my veggie garden and my girls LOVE doing that all summer with me.
I plan to find another counselor too. The one I was going to jut wasn't doing it for me. She was one of those "listener" types that just repeats back everything you say with little blurbs like "oh, that must be hard" and " how does that make you feel?" thrown in. Not my cup o tea.

So I have had 2 new counselors recommended to me that are more "matter of fact" down to business types, so I'm hoping to pick that back up too.

I need to make a bigger list but that's it off the top of my head for now.

Chris