I don't know who to talk to. I couldn't reach my W this morning to figure out a MC time. Finally after a few hours, I called her work. She hadn't shown up. I was worried.
So I went to her apartment and knocked on the door. She finally came out and quickly shut the door behind her. I said what's wrong and then I figured. I said who's in there? She said no one but then tried to get back in. My anger got the best of me and I went inside. I said who's in there?
Finally she said him. I was going to race in the bedroom but decided against. I turned and walked outside....all I could say is "I can't believe you."
I can't believe we are actually finished! This hurts so much.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
I know that is hard. Good for you for just walking out. I am afraid that I wouldn't have been able to do the same.
I think the night I found out my H was living with OW was the worst night of my life. I am sorry you are going through this. It does get better, but it takes time.
I will say that I think H and OW living together was bad for their R and just made it end that much quicker.
I think I'm numb right now and I'm not looking forward to this evening when it starts to sink in. I don't have much in terms of support and it doesn't seem like many on here pay attention to me.
Anyway, I called a lawyer...its a no fault state here so infidelity doesn't play a factor. Oh well.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
Sorry to hear that AD. As is typical, she didn't just need to get her head around things....she needed the space to more freely cheat. What a crock. I hope you are angry. Give her space....and yourself space. Detach yourself from this. Go as dark as possible considering your child and work on your life as though you are getting a divorce. Get all your ducks in a row legally and work hard to have custody of your child.
I'm really sorry you find yourself in this position. None of the things I advised above close the door on reconciliation, but it can only happen when/if she gives up OM and decides she wants a life with you again (and you are willing to give her another chance).
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I'm so sorry. I tried to warn you that your wife seemed like a serial adulterer, but it's not like you could have done much anyway -- this is HER problem, not yours. She needs help.
Do you think she might be a sex addict? Does she exhibit any other addictive behaviors?
Again, I'm sorry you're going thru this. You don't deserve it.
You are probably right about the serial part. I just couldn't come to grips with it. She's not a sex addict. Besides our first few years, sex wasn't a big deal to her....especially after our D. I think it has to do with all the weight she lost in the past.....she gets a lot of attention from guys now. I think its a wanting thing.
Phoenix,
I think you are right. Space was a minor thing in this, she wanted to feel free to cheat.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
AD - Sorry to hear this. Been following your story. One thing I have learned here the past few weeks. You are not alone. Keep on Cybertalking here. You will get through this!
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
I know this is really tough on you. My cousin is going through the same thing. His wife had an affair. She Left for 9 months. Came back for 4 months. Then left again. She has been gone for 4 months and now she comes back crying and beggin. I should have never left you.
Hell, my wife wanted me to kill her to put her out of her misery. She wanted a divorce. Wanted to leave, but was afraid I was going to kill her. She didn't want me to know where she was because she thought I was going to stalk her.
Funny part is, my wife cousin of cheater are 1st cousins.
Him and I talk all day on googlechat. Sometimes it helps, but we talk about the same crap all the time. We rehash alot. We say there is nothing we can do about it.
Really do we want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with us?
sorry man, that is not good and you are a bigger man than me. Someone would of been in hospital by now and I likely in jail, but what would it of got me ?
Sorry, but that's me. Even though the OM owes you nothing and as others have said, it's your W problem.
I would say though, after the initial shock, this might make is easier to go dark.
