The weekend is going well. The kids are having fun. It's clear they are angry with their mom for having a boyfriend and a little with both of us for the divorce. I've been able to have quality time with each of them and it's been great.
I need to focus on doing that on a regular basis.
I've been doing a lot of thinking here and I'll post a lot more when I can get back on my own computer..
I've missed you. I am glad you are having quality time with your kids. They probably need it very much at the moment. Check back with us when you return.
So, I did a lot of thinking over the weekend. I think that I may have fallen out of love with my wife over the past year or so as well. I struggle whether or not I really have or perhaps I'm just compensating for her leaving me?
I dont know. Thought about it alot. What I do know is that I don't want her back now. At least not this "her"
Welcome back!!! We've missed you! I had decided not to post another word (on my thread) until you came back...
Are you surprised you think you have fallen out of love with your wife? Everything I have read and experienced the last few months/years tells me that being in love can come and go many times in a M. LOVE is always there though and I bet you don't question your love for her(?).
I wasn't in love with my H for almost a year, madly fell in love with him again 6-8 months before the bomb (SIGH!!).Timing sucked!
Did you see her this weekend? Did you have a good time? How are your kids? Love K
Been having same thoughts this weekend myself. Just keep thinking 'If it wasn't for the kids' etc etc, though I wouldn't change that for the world. Just can't help but think that W is not hurting me the most, she will be hurting my kids and that sucks.
I think it's not possible to love a stranger, which is what she kind of is at the moment. But I'm certain that you still love your wife. The woman you know but seems to be away on a trip or something right now. The woman that gave birth to your children.. the woman you have shared laughter and pain with.
So, interesting little event last night and this morning.
Last night my wife was sort of nagging about my lawyer getting back to me on something we asked him to look into for us. She was telling me to call her this morning when I heard from him. I told her that he may not have an answer as he was out on Friday given the holiday weekend. She was pissy about it. Later before she left I asked her why all the rush. Why did she go from not wanting the divorce "for a while" to wanting it now, now, faster. Was it her "boyfriend" pushing it? She got defensive and said no. She'd just feel better when it was over.
I told her I'd rather go slow and do it right. Haste in these situtations isn't good. And she didn't need to worry, I didn't want her back and wasn't secretly hoping she'd change her mind.
Well, this morning she left me a voicemail while I was in a meeting. She sounded very sad, almost tearful. Apologizing for pressuring me. Telling me she is stressed and "PMSing" and she was sorry. She thanked me for "supporting her" and caring for the kids.
I suspect that your W hearing you dont want her back caused her temporarily to be emotionally sorry this morning. Just as there is a lot going on in your mind, she too is realizing the big change ahead.
