Thanks GF. Yes, it seems things are going really well right now.
H has been making an effort to contact me and ask me to do things. He texted me yesterday morning before 8 am asking if I would go to lunch with him. I told him yes and asked what time he wanted me to come over. He said, I would rather go a lot earlier than we did last week so that I'm not rushed to get to work. ...we went last Saturday, but I didn't think we were rushed. So anyway, I went over to his place pretty early.
Well.....I saw why he wanted me to come so early. He put the moves on me , and he had obviously been planning this.
I swear I thought he was going to tell me he loved me at one point...but he didn't. Although he has been calling me 'baby' pretty often, which is nice. This morning I had an email from him that said "I just wanted you to know that i had a really good time today. Everything not just the obvious parts."
I feel like he is finally seeing that there are things he can do to make things better between us and that things can be ok again. I am finally seeing that this is a slow process that I can't rush.
He stopped by here yesterday just to see me. While he was here my grandmother called and said there was a bird in her house! H offered to go over there and get it out. I think it came down the chimney. She was so happy to see him, she hasn't seen him since Christmas.
I think that was good for H because he has avoided my family since the bomb, he thinks they hate him. In reality my family was more worried about him since they knew the things he was doing/saying were completely out of character for him. I think my grandmother really boosted his PMA!
We made plans to cook last night....the food was soooooo good if I do say so myself...mmmmm. Lots of praise from H too.
He even asked me to stay the night. Usually when I stay it is because we have had some drinks or because it is just late and it just happens. This time he asked me while we cooking if I wanted to stay, so that was nice.
Oh yeah...and it seems H can't keep his hands off me!
I have been thinking a little about H's change. He finally ran out of his ADs a couple of weeks ago and hasn't been back to the Dr.
He had a low sex drive while on them, to the point where he would just rather not even try...which is why I think he wasn't initiating anything and was very reluctant when I would.
So now, obviously his sex drive has changed...but I think it is more than that. It is like he is feeling things again. He seems like my old H again. He has peeked out before, but this has been the longest run since the bomb. I am feeling like the ADs could have been affecting him in a negative way. I think in the military they give them out like candy and don't take the time to see which ones you really need and at what dosage.
I was on ADs myself shortly after the bomb and they actually made me feel weird/anxious/numb so I quit taking them.
Anyway, just kind of thinking about it. I will keep his current behavior in mind, especially if he goes back on them.
Well, I don't think he was "depressed" before. I think he was unhappy...but I think that is different from being depressed. In the past two years or so (while on the pills) I would say he was definitely in a state of depression.
Who knows, he may need them, but I don't think what he was taking was doing the trick. Judging from how he has been acting lately maybe they were doing more harm than good.
Or maybe there is no explanation for it and I am just over analyzing!
Well, a lot of the research I have seen suggests that most ADs only help those who are severely depressed. Otherwise, people get the same boost as a placebo or vitamins. So...maybe he did get the boost he needed and now that he's got his job situation sorted out he has the PMA to handle it on his own.
And yeah, those side effects can be nasty! I'm much rather use ML as a stress relief lol.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
, and he had obviously been planning this. 