No, being scarred isn't a bad thing. It makes us who we are, gives us character....but we have to find a positive way to deal with the pain that put the scars there.
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The point I was trying to make is that some people just realize how short life can be and it makes them appreciate what they have more.
Unfortunately it works the other way on some people. I think your H (like my H) realized just how short life is and rather than appreciating what he had....became very selfish and felt entitled to do what he wanted when he wanted and it doesn't matter who is hurt in the process....because life is short and he deserves to be happy.
The problem is that he isn't doing things that will ultimately make him happy. He has to find that from within and he hasn't grasped that concept yet.
