Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

Would your H be willing to sit down with you and the girls and tell them that you're having problems and trying to work them out? I know you think he's running and not trying to work out anything, but is that really true? Like Sir, I think the compliment was nice and if he can do that there might be something down deep.

It was a nice compliment and I know H has positive feelings about me and knows I am a good "catch," for lack of a better term. He just thinks he can no longer love me the way I deserve to be loved and that he is unhappy in our M and therefore must go.

I've thought of telling D11 that Daddy is preoccupied and seems to need a lot of time to himself lately and that's probably why she's noticed that we're not as affectionate as we usually are. If she asks again, that's what I will say.

As far as trying to work on anything, do you mean our M, Grace? He has said in no uncertain terms that he wants out and that it's just a matter of getting our ducks in a row. We are seeing a mediator on Thursday for two hours (ughhh) to hammer out a separation agreement.

So it doesn't seem as if he is deciding whether to stay or go. He's already gone, just not physically and not openly to the kids. I just don't feel like I can go on for much longer in this as-if mode. If the kids were oblivious to what was going on, I could swing it.

Today I am meeting again with d11's psychologist, tomorrow my individual therapist and thursday the mediator. This !@#$%^ midlife crisis has become a full-time occupation. Hopefully, by the end of this week, we'll have a clearer approach.