I know you were against seducing him during this whole thing, and I can understand your feelings about that (I know I struggled with many conflicting feelings about it during the D), but sex is one of the better ways to bring a man closer to you (from a lot of what I've read often sex=love for men), and OW has been able to use that one to her advantage. If I thought you had any desire to stop the D, I'd suggest you try it.... at least until the D is final... but the impression I've had for awhile is that you are done.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
ROOT, the problem is that we WERE intimate during most of this drama. Didn't seem to help then and I can't imagine why the heck he would even want me now.. But, HE has continued to try.. although, he keeps saying that he is 100% done with us and off he goes to live his new life. This past week I just went over the edge and told him to leave me alone. I can't take the flip-flopping any longer - even if the only thing he seems to be confused about is who he wants to have sex with that day!
I think the biggest mistake is that he didn't move out. By him constantly throwing the A and his happy new life in my face, I have become .. well.. for the moment.. I guess you could call it bitter... I am tired of walking on eggshells. I am tired of living with secrets and lies. I am tired of having to be "friends" with someone who treats me worse than an enemy.. Just tired of it all.. ya' know?!
D4 and I had a great weekend together.. sooo much fun! I almost didn't miss H (missed being a family, though). Sometimes, I feel like I'm getting over H but not having to spend less time w/my D.
Well, sweetie I think you pulled out the best weapons from your arsenal and did what you could. I can definitely understand being tired of his flip-flopping and being angry about him throwing the A in your face. Just be careful about the bitterness. The only person it hurts is you in the long run.
I think you know what hasn't worked. What's another 180 to try? Maybe pack his bags and change the locks.... just joking... a little wishful thinking....
What secrets and lies are you living with?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I think you know what hasn't worked. What's another 180 to try?
I've done some major 180's lately. First, my absolutely no sex stance and telling him why it's wrong for me. Second, bringing people back into my life that I shut out and being brutally honest with some of them regarding what has been happening in my M. Third, telling stbx that I want to limit D4's exposure to ow because she is someone who is dishonest and lacks integrity. Why would I want our child around someone like that?
And, because of these things, I have been hit with huge amounts of anger and insult. It hurts but how can it be any worse than what has already happened?
I'm not lying down just waiting and hoping for things to get better. It's not going to happen.. Carpe Diem!
