Congratulations on the house!!! That's awesome news. You got the house that you wanted... and your H insists on doing the purchase jointly.. sounds good to me!
All in all it was a pretty great weekend. I am drowning in my classroom--found out I have to pack the ENTIRE room in a 3-day time period as they are moving my grade level upstairs next year. So me, the sub, gets to pack it all. And they don't supply any packing materials!?! So I am getting a migraine....
Here are some highlights of the weekend I can fill in more late
Saturday *H came down early, was at the house before 10 am. Brought all of us breakfast.
*Spent the day Saturday with the kids, working on the house, etc.
*H asked me to go in and get pizza and a movie for us to watch w/the kids.
*Went to bed in our room, H did too. Woke up there in the morning with S in our bed, too (I know that sends him a mixed message, I know!)
Sunday
*Kids went to see grandma in Iowa (they did have crazy weather but they missed the tornadoes) overnight
*H and I spent the entire day together (from 10 am until 2 am), working in the yard, planting some fountain grass, mowing, etc.
*H grilled us both steak and we had a very nice dinner together.
*Had a semi-major R talk before bed. This time he didn't even complain that it was midnight (he used to crab that I always wanted to talk so late at night). I finally asked what he meant about the text ("I know how to fix it but not how to make it right"). Basically, he said he knew we could be together but wasn't sure it was the right thing. I asked what his worries were. It was all COMMUNICATION stuff. Like, I ask for his advice and then I don't follow it. He says if I don't want it, don't ask for it. I said I do want it, I just don't always have to agree with it...A lot of it comes down to man/woman differences. I said, sometimes I will ask if I should wear a certain dress to dinner b/c I want him to say he likes it. He said, then ask me if I like it, not if I think you should wear it, etc....
*Anyway I told him I thought his concerns were things we could definitely improve upon, and that I thought there were no marriages without these types of disagreements from time to time. That I would hate for us to look back in 5 yrs and say, "We got divorced over the brand of allergy medicine Bobbi bought?" or "We got D'd b/c she cleans the house different than I do"? H looked really sad and thoughtful and said he thought about that, too.
*There was a lot more but that was the basic gist of the convo. I asked him if he was afraid to come back b/c of what he would leave behind (his independence, OW, etc). He said NO, that was NOT it, he wouldn't miss anything. He was just afraid we would keep having these dumb arguments/differences...
*I went to bed first in our bed and he came in shortly after, so 2 nights in the same bed?? (NOTHING HAPPENED)
I've seen your upbeat thread titles, but never stopped by before. Just thought I'd say Hi. Good luck with the house and medical stuff. Keep up the PMA - it's very impressive.
All the best!
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
BBJ, Glad you had a good weekend. You seem to have spent alot of quality time together. That is great news. Two nights in the same bed!!!!???? It won't be long before something happens under the covers as well as elsewhere. Keep it up!
Thanks guys! With my H you never know what comes next. So I am not getting my expectations up.
Here is another quick recap:
Monday: We spend the day loading any/all boxes and rubbermaid tubs into the cattle trailer to take to Iowa. We worked together pretty much all day again, from morning until 6:15 p.m. H kept teasing me/giving me a hard time in the playful way that he used to. At one point I said something in a lighthearted way about how I am sure he is sick of living w/his parents and would rather live with me and the kids. He kind of nodded but didn't say anything. Then I said, "Yeah, I am sure it will make your commute a little longer" (teasing, it wouldn't really). H said, in a serious voice, "It would be no problem for me to get to work from the new house".
When it was time to leave, I was walking to my car, we were standing out in the driveway as we just finished loading the trailer. I said thanks for all the help, he said thanks to you too, I said see you next week. As I turned to go he reached his arm out and rubbed it across my back and arm (kind of hard to explain, it was like he was reaching out as I was turning so he just rubbed his arm across me). I turned back around and we had a "one-armed" hug, then I left.
More later, I PROMISE I will check in on you guys, too!
