"How many times do I lie and say I have things to do when I don't?"
You don't lie; you GAL.
"In this case, we had tentative plans already to do dinner."
Yes but they are one-sided tentative. The reason they are tentative is because you are not GAL, you are waiting around with no plans until she decides whether she will see you or not.
Does that sound healthy in the context that she just left your marriage?
"I just got back from driving 100 miles round trip to go to dinner with her because she asked me to see her place."
She just LEFT YOU. And you're driving 100 miles to see her when she asks?
Perhaps you should get the opinion of a veteran on this, as I'm a newbie too. See what Tia thinks.
"She said "this is weird" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then, as she was getting out of the car, she said "this is surreal, it's like we're dating." Not sure if that is considered good or bad?"
Perhaps she wants to start over, like you are dating. Then you can have a second chance, to take things slow and to just allow the relationship to progress without letting control issues get in the way.
