How do they walk away?

[naej]

Treese I posted this on Yellowrose's thread so just copying to you.
Treese, never feel stupid for trusting your husband. Like me you were together a long time and that was built on trust.
In hindsight we see so much, but then I think I would rather have had my faith shattered at the end of 29 years than to have lived a life of suspiscion.
You had so much more than many people will ever have. One day you will be grateful for that but it takes time.

[Treese]

Naej;

You are right....I am fortunate that I never lived in suspiscion...I trusted my H totally...I never in a million years thought he would do this....I have 3 beautiful children who will always be in my life..they are what matter....

Thank you....Treese

[newnamenewlife]

You had so much more than many people will ever have. One day you will be grateful for that but it takes time.

I'm hijacking a little here, but is this true, naej? I like to think I (and Treese and all of us in these situations) could eventually look back on our M's and be happy for the love and good times. When it ends so badly, with so much hurt and pain and betrayal, can we ever forget that, or forgive our Hs? I'm not saying we shouldn't hope for that, but right now I am so devastated that every time I look at a photo of me & H in happier times it's just excruciating. I have the urge to throw out all the love letters H wrote me because all they do now is torture me.

[naej]

Well I can only speak for me but yes I am happy for those many good years.When I read so many "youngsters on the board" struggling after a few years. I am grateful that my children all grew up with 2 parents in the home.
That maybe a double edged sword because they like me took it very badly.
Lovemy guy, don't get me wrong I was a basket case in the early days(years)but for me its been a long time and I have no contact. I can now as I said look back with a grateful heart and I am thankful. It didn't happen overnight but it happens.I shall never forget but I have forgiven my x.

[angelica]

Lmg, I would second naej on this. It takes a while to get to the point of being grateful for the good marriage, but I am now. It is like all grief, initially you mourn the loss to esclusion of all else, but eventually you come to appreciate what you have and accept the loss. But you don't get there in five minutes, or even five months!!

I was distraught by grief for the longest time, but we have to go through that period of mourning. If we suppress it we cannot fully move onwards.

A

[Treese]

LMG;

Yes, sometimes I feel the same...if I see pictures it makes me sad and sometimes I cry but those pictures were taken in the happy times...as much as my H is trying to dispose of all our happy times , I won't ....they are there, he is just blinded right now....In my heart he knows where his heart belongs....he just has someone else pulling his strings...I'm still standing for what I believe in....God will make it right....I have faith....although sometimes it gets lost....and I come here and you all bring me back....

Hang in there...I'm right there with ya...Treese

[Treese]

Morning all...

Well, what a long weekend...I spent the weekend with my D15 playing volleyball in KY...3 days in a gymnasium...but I love to watch her play...H didn't even call to see how she was doing...sad...he was at the house with my son....H slept in my bed and cut the grass, trimmed...trimmed the bushes...washed his car...played Disney dad w son...took him to baseball game, took him to spend the night with his friend so he could spend the night with OW and not miss out on the Holiday weekend...grrrrrrrrrr.......

When I got home he was out to eat w son at a pizza place very far away....actually close to OW home....he could have went right down the street but said he hasn't been to this one in a while so they drove out there...grrrrrrrrrr again....it appears he is spending more and more time with OW....

He sat in the living room to watch a show with son and then S10 wanted him to watch a movie with him but he said he needed to get work done (an excuse to go to OW house)...I told him he could work on the computer there and he didn't say anything so I went up to take a shower...he left with again no goodbye...gosh I just feel like he is so over me at this point...no problems leaving...and D15 was not being nice to him...he was a little upset about that but too bad....

Anyway, is this all still normal behavior? Do they really just feel like they are so far removed from you?