We talk of things as we see them, and if we aren't detached from the process [and it is HARD to be really detached] then their words and deeds hurt us a lot. Our reaction is to call them the name that their actions seem to justify.
And that is OK, but it is better if we can to move beyond that, not to force ourselves, but to open ourselves up to the possiblity of moving forward and away form their ugliness, recognise their hurt and pain, and try and think of them at all times in a kindly way. It is REALLY hard, especially when they are doing the most horrible and hurtful things.
But we need to do it for ourselves. It isn't walking around with a silly sweet forgiving grin pasted on your face, but more a sincere letting go of the hurt.
The person my h was would never have done these things, and they are hurtful, but somehow, if we are to heal we HAVE tomove beyond the hurt. It is a huge challenge. If it helps us at one stage to call our h by the name he 'deserves' for his actions, Ok,I guess, but we need to strive always to move beyond the hurt and be the MUCH bigger person. It is a goal, and one that I often do not achieve. After all do we forgive only those people who say they are sorry?
