LMG, I know that DBing says not to give ultimateums, but I think sometimes we HAVE to do it for our own mental health. IMO, after DBing for a while, you know what it is that you shouldn't do because it's just not productive (beggings, blah blah blah) but to each situation comes its own playbook. I'm at the point where I gave an ultimateum too. It felt right and if it "wasn't" then so be it.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09