They really should make it a law that you are required to go through counseling for a good six months before you can even get divorced. They should also ask the C if they believe a true effort was made. Make the jerk jump through hoops! kat
I TOTALLY agree....it should be a LOT harder than what it is these days. It should also be a law that if the spouse has OP, they lose all rights to any money they might have gotten otherwise.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Hmmm. I always thought that if there was adultery that was grounds for divorce and it was a serious black mark on your name when petitioning for allimony...my mistake, I haven't been through it, so I really am just babbling. :|
I do agree that some effort should be demonstrated on behalf of the ww spouse. Its awfully hard to prove effort in court though. I can go to counselling and not really make a sincere effort. The paperwork would still show I went.
My gf is going to counselling now with our MT, but she's having an affair, she told the MT outright she won't stop seeing him. She just throws walls up to our MT and myself everytime either of us try to talk to her.
I like the idea, I am just trying to figure out how to make that work....hmmmm
As for the claims yes, I think if you are caught having an affair and you want to leave, you leave your home, your savings, and your children behind. Tossing out a spouse but expecting to keep everything else is just perverse.
Man! Who on earth makes a ridiculous law like that?
Kat, anything you need we are all here for you. I will likley be putting an end to my nightmare by end of summer as well. I really shouldn't have to put up with this nonsense, none of us should.
Marriage is hard, but it shouldn't be this painful. I say lets all exchange photos and start a dating club, none of us will cheat on each other! lol
Here in Illinois it is the same. I can't even file for grounds of adultry. Even though it is a ground, they say it is too difficult and won't let anyone do it. You have to file for mental cruelty. But it doesn't matter anyway because H has the exact same rights as someone who didn't have an affair. And actually my H could come off making money from having this affair. It is possible that I would have to pay him support every month, he will get half of what the house is worth, half of my retirement and I will have to pay off his car. So this will look like the best thing that could ever happen to my H while I am being punished for my H cheating on me. It is SO wrong and I wish there was something I could do to change the law so more LBS don't get burned.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
In Maine they don't care why you divorce. And the wait is only 60 days. That's how I can go from bomb to D-Day in just a little more than 5 months. We are a very progressive state.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Maybe you could move to another state starshyne. If my wife leaves you can always have our guest room, i will be happy to move out of there to my own bed again. lol They will never find you up here in Canada lol
Hey...sounds pretty good, Mark. I am ready to run away!
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Maybe you could move to another state starshyne. If my wife leaves you can always have our guest room, i will be happy to move out of there to my own bed again. lol They will never find you up here in Canada lol
Sara,
I actually was going to tell you to pop up to canada for a visit when school was over. Mark, where in ontario are you?
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I think the crazy thing about all of this is that is the last time I talked to my L he says they are talking about changing the law back. Probably too late for me.
My Dad was actually able to get full custody of my brother and I when I was a baby because of adultry. That won't happen now. My Dad has been pretty good about not saying terrible things about my H and I know he would have some choice words for him in person if he weren't such a chicken.
Can I run away too? kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
