"I would love to see you, however if you are tired, I understand. I will leave it up to you"
See, this is really passive of you leaving it up to her.
"I think I should have said that I would like to see her (versus wanting to) and left it at that...thoughts on that?"
I think it's exactly the same thing, whether you tell her you want to see her or you would like to see her.
Going dark means you are busy or tired or something. You need to be the one to choose not to see her.
Right now you have put yourself in the position of being back to waiting for her signal whether you get to see her or not.
I would suggest that when she calls that you tell her thanks but you're really tired and maybe you can do it another night. And leave it at that.
And then if she tries to make a specific date, say something vague like, well let's see.
If she presses or gets upset don't explain, just say something like Can we talk about it another time? If she presses for a time to think about it, just say I just want sometime to think about it.
She may just say OK to your response of being tired and some other time, but these are backup ideas in case she starts pursuing.
Just keep her being the one who is pursuing and by doing that you can't put her in charge of deciding when she will make time for you.
If she winds up saying no because she is tired, just say OK I understand and if she tries to make specific other plans, I suggest you do the above.
