MLC BS

[Patrick325]

Had a very busy weekend...golfed, played tennis , went to the beach, fished....but I'm still miserable....I can't shake my W...I think about her and my kids constantly...I don't know what to do....

[Imageer]

Patrick, I don't know your situation very well. However, I have been doing this for 17 months now and I still miss my W everyday. What keeps me sane is how rediculous this whole thing is. When I look at the big picture I can say, I had money troubles, it hurt W, she became friends with some morally questionable people who convinced her she was a lebsian and had to get a D to be happy. She now she lives with some woman that is completely the opposite of W. W drinks every day where she never did before and she is having panic attacks.

Do I think this is a long term situation? NO! And that is what keep me going.

I don't mean to go on about myself. I only mean to illustrate that the life our Ws are leading is not normal and our Ws are troubled people. An affair is just an affair. It hurts but it will end. She may claim to love him, be soul mates, be meant for each other but it is all crap. It is one damaged person taking advantave of another damaged person. It will fail.

In the mean time, better yourself in whatever way you feel you need to better yourself. Don't stand in front of her as a broken man, be a strong confident man. She will notice and when her affair fails, you will be standing there ready to pick up the pieces.

[Patrick325]

I hope your right. It gets hard as the days pass to believe this is temporary...I try to be confident but she presses me to speed up the D and time is getting short...

[Patrick325]

I made it through another weekend. Went to D14 middle school graduation. Wife went without OMwhich was good for me. I was really dreading seeing him there. W came over to pick up twins on Sat and actually came in my house and talked to me. My d12 had told me Wed about a run in with my W. My W got a little physical with her and she told me that mom has really changed (first time they have admitted that to me). She said her mom was getting mad at them and had told them OM was getting mad with them . So I made sure to listen withot saying too much but made sure that she knows I am there for her and will listen to what she says. I am hoping that means the rot is starting to set in on their R. She still plans to travel to Wis with him soon but I am hoping for the best. At least I will have the kids for a couple of weeks by myself....

[irisheyes13]

Hiya Patrick

Nice to see you

It looks like your making good progress

Look at what is working and stick to that-it looks like your W has noticed the changes your making and that has made her curious-think about what attracted her to you when you first met and work on them qualities-make any exchange you,s have now pleasant.

Act like you've accepted what she wants

Your there for your girls, they know that you are the solid parent for now but your doing the right thing by not getting mad at their mum in front of them-they need to know they can come to you in confidence

Their little world has been rocked so you be their rock

I think your right about your W new relationship-the honeymoon period is probably coming to a end but this will go on for a while yet

Patience is what you need now.

On bad days come here to vent journal and get angry.


you've come a long way

Good for you

Tc x

[Patrick325]

I'm glad someone thinks things are going well...I, on the other hand, am not so sure....I guess I am having trouble being patient. My attorney says we are scheduling family mediation in August, so i am getting nervous. I am afraid this will further seperate us since I do not want to let my W have primary custody of the kids. She will hate me even more probably....

[IRMAT]

go to rejoiceministries.org my husband still in MLC but I am so much better after going to this website... very Godly advice...I give him all honor,praise,and glory.....

[IRMAT]

go to rejoiceministries.org my husband still in MLC but I am so much better after going to this website... very Godly advice...I give him all honor,praise,and glory.....

[Patrick325]

I have gone there before and it it is very inspirational. But I still have trouble believing my situation will be getting any better. I pray every day and think about my wife and kids constantly. I am ready to throw in the towel....I had it out with my W again on the phone. She always tries to control me and I lost it yesterday and told her I don't want to talk to her anymore. I regretted it right after I said it. I just can't control my emotions when she tries to pull that $##@!. I am slipping so bad...I don't know if we can ever get through this. She keeps complaining that I am holding up the D..She probably wants to marry the OM...I hate this

[IRMAT]

I am sorry I took so long to respond but jus tnow got back into the website.... but you know what dont give up... ask God for his peace and you will see he will give it to you...
I still have trouble on the waiting part but he has been so merciful to me that I can feel it in my heart that he is going to heal my marriage.

I have no doubt about it....just the waiting that is hard... God really hates divorce and he does not want this to happen to you and your wife...
take a stand for your marriage... beleive it in your heart.. God is so faithful but we are so impatient we want everything yesterday.. but he works so differently than we do and I myself can not wait for him but I start praying and he gives me that peace that no one understands but it is real....

I think I have been the biggest door mat that ever walked this earth when it came to my husband.. crying,begging,pleading,threatening suicide,etc,etc,etc. but I called upom his name nad he made me to be strong..please dont give up maybe just try not to talk to her right now.. which might be difficult since you have little ones..

just give God a try I mean a really honest to goodness try and see what he will do for you... it wont be easy but if you have faith even as small as a mustard seed he will answer you.. and yes I get angry with how slow he is moving but I know he has something bigger and better than what we had before..

dont ever doubt him.. but believe...I have come a long way since oct 07 but I am so much stronger and better but I owe it all to him because I am such a weak person... I get up in the morning and the first thing I do is I pray that he will show me his word from the bible that I read each morning for about 15 to 20 minutes, because he wants us to put him first and to me that is putting him first.

and during the day I am always in prayer in my mind.. lifting up my husband to him and asking that he speaks to his heart.
Then before I go to bed I get down on my knees in my bedroom and pray for him, that he also seeks God for guidance and for comfort.
Without these things I would not be where I am today. I think I would be dead.the devil he will come to tempt you and to make you doubt him and if you dont believe in the devil you are very mistaken he is for real and he will destroy all who will let him..please do put on the whole armour of God because belive me we need to... please write back soon and I will pray that you will put your trust in him