Since my last thread locked up on me and my emotions lately have been bouncing from one end of the spectrum to the other, well.... much like a BB in a boxcar on a train moving at full speed.... I guess this thread is aptly named.
Well the roofing job was completed and yes, there was much fanfare. For a couple days I felt like a goofy teeneage girl. But I kept myself in check for the most part and managed to keep from fumbling my words and falling all over myself whenever I talked with the bare chested beefcake contractor! But dang!!!!! Yes.... I did get to speak with him on a personal level and he said the guys were kinda pokin' fun at him cause he'd jump every time I came outside and come over to talk to me. HAHA.... that made me laugh! The conversation took place via text msging.... odd, but what the heck. He said that he was a little afraid of it not being professional if he came off as flirting with a client and he hoped I didn't see it that way. I assured him that he was completely professional and promised I wouldn't stop payment on the check!
The conversation yeilded enough for me to know that I am probably better off not flirting any further. He is seperated currently and has 3 kids 12 and under. Figures....
On other fronts.... I'm finding all sorts of crazy emotions coming to the surface with my son's graduation approaching at mach speed. I struggled with wanting to send X an invitation. As I've mentioned he was the step-dad.... so it was sort of a sticky kind of situation. There are his parents who were very involved at one point in all our lives and I wanted in a way to have them share this as well but there is no relationship between us now and since X has moved on with a new wife and her kids. Seeing them all together in church on sundays still finds a way to bite at me but also shows me it would not be a good idea for anyone. In the end... I just asked my son what he thought and he considered it for a couple minutes. And with a simple shake of his head and a "nah... prolly not" he was set in his choice. It's amazing to me how levelheaded and mature my ordinarily extremely typical teenage son is.... for just a minute there I saw the look in his eyes that made me want to cry.... cause I know his heart misses X.... but it only took him minutes to surmise the wisdom in his decision. That was it.... he was done with it and all my wrestling with it seemed unnecessary.
OKAY.... enough with the emotional stuff.... who wants a drink?
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Lost... will pass on the drink, thanks! Once I start I do not tend to stop.
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Seeing them all together in church on sundays still finds a way to bite at me
Ya, ditto. My sitch has been over for a number of years and seeing "them" together still bites me too. Yesterday I was dropping my kids off to "their" house. My XW and OM were in front yard. It was so freakin' wierd dropping of my own kids to my XW and OM.... who I have a lot of unresolved issues with. This guy was formerly my neighbour.
I cant see at this stage how if ever it will seem normal or even comfortable. Mine too is involved in Church.... A "ministry" in fact. They participate in it together. It is not mine to look down on the conduct of another. I have been guilty of many sins that God has forgiven me of. I still cant get my head around it though. A person leaves their spouse and hooks up with someone else in highly controversial circumstances and they continue to attend church as if they haven't missed a beat. I try not to judge it. It does hurt and I just dont get it. Will let God deal with that one.... I will just do my best to keep my heart in the right place and seek God on how to deal with my part.
Glad to hear you are doing well. Regardless to what is happening with your roofing guy.... I am sure it is enjoyable to simply receive the affirmation and attention. That is ok. Drink it up. It is part of our nature. Good on ya.
Yep.... it is a confounding situation how involved in ministry they can be and still hold their heads up high. I can't help but feel there is a bigger lesson in this for those of us who are left to watch them.... but I'll be danged if I've been able to see what that might be yet. I know in my heart that God has a plan for me and that it is for the good.... so whatever there is to endure in the present.... I try to keep that at the forefront of my mind and it helps me to cope with the difficult times.
This is a season..... and this too shall pass.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Ok, we are in the same boat sort of. X swears God gave her permission to D me and marry X. Though he is not in ministry and I really don’t know what kind of relationship he does or does not have with God, X still pursues her relationship with God and I am glad for that.
As each of us looks, questions and wonders how this all fits in God's plan, the thought of David came to mind. Clearly the bible teaches that from his youth, David was anointed of God to be king. Though hed did nothing to provoke it, Saul was after him and David conducted himself with honor, even forgoing the opportunity to kill God's anointed (Saul) when he had the chance.
Fast forward to Bathsheba, adultery and the murder of her husband. Did David ever stop being called a man after "God's own heart?" I don't think so. Yet, David paid for his sins. He lost his child with Bathsheba shortly after birth. He had another son (Absalom) who caused him great distress, even to the point where that son died. He was prevented from building the temple for God because he had "blood on his hands" which was left for Solomon construct. I have no doubt David will be found to have been forgiven and to have made his way to heaven yet we see through the bible and in the psalms that David suffered.
My X, your X's, have paid, are paying and/or will pay for their choices. The more we can stay in a mode of prayer for them, in a mode of forgiveness (knowing that things will ALWAYS come at us to cause resentment and bitterness), the better our lives become.
Every time I drop my kids off in the front of X's house in the evening, Mr. X is the one who comes to open the door and I see him walk through their living room as he approaches the door. We have an exchange of waves once he lets my son enter the house. Up until now, I have not really dealt with that resentment but as I type this post, I believe God is directing me to pray for him each and every time I see him. Like king David, like anyone who has transgressed against God, Mr. X (and X) has to deal with the fact that he is in an adulterous relationship according to the bible (even though they are married). Chazz and LNF, the same holds true for your former spouses in that if they divorced you for unbiblical grounds, they are still considered married to you and their new marriages are acts of adultery. (their acts of adultery free us to remarry if we so choose).
All of this conceptual biblical references support a mindset that allows me (ideally) to pray for X and Mr. X, leave them in God's hands, not worry about what is or isn't fair, move forward with my life and falling into and staying in a pit of bitterness and resentment. Additionally, the provocations to drive us to resentment are spiritual in nature, regardless of whether others believe this or not therefore we need to fight these impulses with the ultimate spiritual weapon, prayer.
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Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
The neat thing is that we can join the battle for one another by coming along side them in prayer, in their hour of need. I consider it a privilege to do this for another and I don't take the commitment to pray of another lightly for we are to let our yes be yes and our no be no so if we say we will pray, we better do it.
p.s. it is chilly today, I'll take that coffee you were offering
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
LNF, wow, a cyber proposal? Gotta say, I'm flattered. Of course I don't do roofs and I ain't no beefcake when I take off my shirt. But oh, you should see me on the dance floor.
Hey wait, would that make me a rebound relationship after the hunka hunka burning love of a contractor you (almost) fell for
Hmmmm, gonna have to pray and fast to get God's direction, cyber marriage is a lifelong commitment, nothing to take lightly.
(Let's see: She has a great love of God, desires a clean heart before God and a "right" spirit, has a forgiving heart, uses good fonts and icons in her posts, hangs out with cyber friends of good character (mostly)... this is looking good so far )
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
You know, one of the biggest lies I ever faces was that becoming a Chrisitan would mean the end my fun. Au contraire, now I have a blast and the best part is... the next day I get to remember why I was laughing and I don't have to apologize to anyone or be embarassed.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
L-N-F, You think you have got problems? I injured my shoulder in the gym and I am sidelined for 3 weeks!!! Talk about something that SUCKS!!! Anyway, mentioning the contractor, I think you are following the old country song "I've been lookin for love in all the wrong places" In any case, that is yours to deal with. I have a real issue when people treat others like dog dung, then go lay in the church and act like they are Billy Graham or someone. Everyone can quote whatever verse from the Bible, but the underlying theme of the New Testiment is the good works of Jesus and the examples he set for treating other people. For someone to walk off and leave thier family and say that "God directed them to do it" or be involved in a ministry is quite possibly the biggest bunch of B.S. I have ever heard. If there is a Hell, I will guarantee those people will be burning in it. I am also not sold on the notion that God has a specific plan for people. God made man with a brain and the ability to make choices, with that being said, I think he has given us the freedom and the power to do just that, the rest is up to us.
