I've sometimes wondered if it's so much the WAS, as it is his/her family, especially if they enabled him/her to walk away from the marriage.
That happened in my circumstance. My xMIL took in xh with opened arms and prodded him on to a divorce since he was so unhappy (in a marriage that had lasted 30 years, no less). He lived with her for over a year, and he didn't file for D until he'd gotten himself a live-in OW. So basically he moved from me, to his mother, to OW..without ever living on his own. Seems to me that what other people think matters more to him than to what he actually thinks/feels. So, if he did feel he might have made a mistake, would he allow himself to be put in the position of defending his decision to try again to the same people that he convinced easily that our marriage was never any good.
As a tidbit...xh has now told one of our sons, that he wants OW out of his apartment. So maybe he has started realize he needs to be on his own to be healthy, and not using anyone as a crutch. I hope so anyway, because he's been a weak person through all of this, and needs to gain some self-strength if he ever wants to be truly happy in his life.
I care what people may think of me, but I don't live my life to try to please them. I did live that way with H our entire marriage, and that was a mistake. It's okay to care, but it's not okay to live your life in fear of disappointing the one that's suppose to live you unconditionally.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
