"H hasn't responded to my call about "what time" would be best for me to come by; nor has he replied to my email that suggested we make things a "clean slate" between us."
Hi,
I think you're right. DON'T go. And DON't call and cancel. My guess it's obvious to him that the call about "what time" is a ploy to get him to respond. And then the "clean slate" is obviously the next ploy since he didn't respond to the "what time" message.
I think one of the reasons he is not getting back to you is because he feels so pursued that he's not even worried about missing your arrangements; he probably extremely confident that he has to do NOTHING, because you will wind up calling and emailing relentlessly until you get a way to see him.
Contacting him to cancel would just be another excuse to pursue him. The excuse here is "I have to call and cancel because it would be impolite not to. Or what if he made plans and then I disrupted his schedule or he was standing there, worried about what happened to me?"
I don't think he's worried. But I think we WANT him to be. That would be the best thing.
So just back off completely. Go AWOL so he relaxes, wonders, and eventually contacts you to figure out why when he was running away he turned back and no one was chasing him anymore...
And then when you get to this point--and you CAN get to it if you just DON'T leave little comments to people he knows (that counts as contacting him, he'll sense the comments were to get back to him) or contact him AT ALL...
Then don't answer the phone or respond to his emails or anything until he has tried at least four times to get you.
