I didn't have a choice either. My H rushed me & expected it to be over by the end of last year. He thought I would just go along with him, he wanted to sell the house & split everything down the middle. H didn't expect me to find out about OW b/c she was in another state he never thought I would discover her.
My H had to keep paying the household expenses but he was staying here too (in guest room) from Sept.2007 until Feb.2nd 2008. Like I said he thought I would be a pushover & wouldn't cause any problems. He also accused me of dragging my feet & got very angry with me & wouldn't even talk to me. One night he even cussed me out & that is so unlike him, I got it on tape & turned it over to my lawyer. I hated to do it but I had to protect myself. H kept threatening me, that if I didn't hurry up & go along with what he wanted that he would get more that 50/50, he would also get one of the dogs (he thought that would get to me) which it did. I called my lawyer in tears, he said there would be no way he would get the dogs. H also said he would fight me to the very last penny, I would not get the house & he would not give me alimony. Well, it didn't go his way. I got both dogs, I got the house, 3 years of alimony & he had to pay both lawyers & the mediator (over 9,000.00). Money was a big issue with him b/c I think he told OW that he had money(he doesn't) but he also thinks she has money. I think she did at one time but she was on vacation for 2 years & has had to go back to work so I don't think she does. Anyway H was very mad!!!! He said I drained him. Our D was final on April 8th. I'm still crushed. He was in a hurry so he could move to another state with OW. He thinks the grass is greener on the other side. I think he will find out it is not & I think he will find out what she really is. I can't remember if I've posted this on this thread of not but after he got his things out of the house the OW emailed me this:
I just want so say thank you.....for the most beautiful, amazing, kind, caring, and loving man I've ever known in my life. I am truly blessed beyond my dreams.
(And of course, for not suing me - that was so generous of you!)
Life goes on...I wish you all of the good stuff...love and happiness and freedom from anything that does not lead you there.
I am happy it is all over and I am sure you are too.
Finally we call all B-R-E-A-T-H-E.!
Take care,
Debbie
I just copied this from the email she sent me! The nerve of that WOMAN!!! I don't believe he would have condoned this & I don't believe he knew she did this until I called & left him a voice mail on his cell phone.
I believe this OW is a profession! She has been married at least 3 times if not more & for anyone to run after a MM, she has done it before & I'm sure she will do it again. She is way out of my H league, he has said that to her before. But she is smooth! I just hope soon he will see what she really is.
You are right, I do thing those have a better chance where their H's have not pushed for a D. Yellowrose never did get a D.
I don't know what to tell you about giving in with the D. I pretty much had no choice, once we went to mediation that was pretty much it unless we had not settled. Then it would have gone to court & cost so much more & taken a lot more time which I don't think he wanted to do.
Have you ever read Charlene Cares? Do a search on the internet for her. Her H left & they divorced but she still stood for her marriage & they are back together. I guess that's what I keep hoping for me. I don't think my H will marry OW b/c I don't think she wants to marry again. He did say in a email to her early on that one day he wanted to call her his wife, but he knew how she felt about that & would not push that issue. So I hope he will see her for her true colors before that happens.
I'm like you, I'm so heart broken I can't stand it! I just keep hoping he will come back & to be married as long as we were it's hard to believe that he has just forgotten me. When he was here he did take some pictures of us together on the beach, so maybe he hasn't let go yet. I sure hope not.
Sorry this was so long, but I wanted you to know what I've been through. It has not been easy & is still the hardest thing I've ever been through. I keep praying & hoping.
