Happy Memorial Day! I'm still in my pajamas... which is pretty lazy, but who cares? I'm drinking my coffee and snarfing down some cinnamon rolls that D14 made for late breakfast. Yum!
Wow, pretty interesting that your kids associate his job losses with moving. Something to store in your noggin for future use? Maybe your next move should celebrate something positive going on in your life? That way, you all can have a new association with moving?
For the record, I think you're a dolt but not a liar. I have seen absolutely NO manual that stipulates moving forward means completely erasing memories of the past. If that were true, my friend, then NOBODY would learn ANYTHING from past experiences, right? It's a gradual process, Cagz. Some day, you'll get to the point where remembering is no longer painful. You may not even realize it immediately... it caught me off guard when I started being able to watch old home movies with happiness. Then I realized that I had healed some parts of me that I had thought would never heal. Then later on, you'll be able to look at him and the past through the eyes of another person. Why another person? Because you're changing. In another year, you'll no longer be the person you were before this whole thing started. Some things will be more clear. Others will have healed. Still, others will still be scars that if you pick will still bleed.
Just imagine yourself in a horrible car accident where you were not only hurt physically, but mentally. You wouldn't expect to be over the experience in a jiffy, would you? Same thing applies here. This has been a train wreck of epic propotion. You and your kids survived, but there are still plenty of issues that you are all dealing with. And you ARE dealing with them.
Cut yourself some slack, girlfriend. This is all moving forward according to God's plan for you--not yours. It's frustrating as heck, but it is definitely happening.
Okay, time for me to hop in the shower so I can at least get something accomplished today. I want to take the dog for a walk before it rains. We're heading to a neighbor's house for a BBQ (probably going to be the indoor variety) and time's a wasting while I'm lounging around in my pajamas and robe.
Hope your holiday weekend ends on a positive note! You deserve it!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I have seen absolutely NO manual that stipulates moving forward means completely erasing memories of the past. If that were true, my friend, then NOBODY would learn ANYTHING from past experiences, right? It's a gradual process, Cagz. Some day, you'll get to the point where remembering is no longer painful. You may not even realize it immediately... it caught me off guard when I started being able to watch old home movies with happiness. Then I realized that I had healed some parts of me that I had thought would never heal. Then later on, you'll be able to look at him and the past through the eyes of another person. Why another person? Because you're changing. In another year, you'll no longer be the person you were before this whole thing started. Some things will be more clear. Others will have healed. Still, others will still be scars that if you pick will still bleed.
Betsey