Long time no chattie! OMG, woman, you've had a lot going on here. Uh, so have I, which is why I haven't had time to come here and post either. Now that I'm the big cahuna here at work, I'm a bit overwhelmed and stressed...
Anyhoo, que pasa that your STBXH got fired? That is very interesting, and I'm sure there's some karmic thread to that story.
Do tell.
Oh yeah, and btw, big hugs from me to you.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Betsey HI HI HI!! Been thinking of you much. Hope you are ok and that your can still talk to us "lowly folk"
trusting oh how i wish fired = bottom oh how i wish. he seems to um "avoid the bottom" so often ...
Synopsis. 4 1/2 years ago h was fired (out of the blue or so I thought) 3 1/2 years ago h was fired (they had just cause he had been a bad bad boy) that is what brought us here. (AFTER MANY MANY we dont want to moves...) 1 year ago h was fired (that stated his job was too stressful for him) this year h is fired again --- this time his blame is on the economy.
He had thought the job was at risk....but then he still did what he does best...IGNOREs those above him and does his own thing. I am pretty sure he left early yesterday (And after not working this Saturday welllllllll) NOT a smart move. (yesterday was bimbos bday).
Evidentally he hadn't cut it and they cut him. He is in the automotive business and when you are done you are done - no severence..none of that. YOUR OUT.
Last year when he got fired I found out through the grape vine - didn't have a full time job and was very very dependent on his income. This year is a little different.
All his text said was "lost my job today....dont know how much i will be able to give you next month it won't be much....sorry".
My son is working with me this summer and was sitting there when i got the text...he said "well hey at least we dont have to move this time..." EVEN d11 when I told her tonight..that was hte FIRST question out of her mouth -"do we have to mvoe??"
I did call him after I got the text -- ME- "you ok" STBX- no but i dont have time to mope (BS!!) ME- wait is bimbo there? STBX - she just left to do some errands ME- so sweet STBx-CAGZMOM--- ME- I forgot u have her- u guys will have to get through it -thank u for letting me know talk to u later STBX- bye
So wierd- but that is what i have to do --- he is nothing to me now....so wierd. I am not the wife to support him, I am not even the friend. She is filling those rolls.
I am a little scared financially as i dont make alot of money- so i dont knwo what that is going to look like. I talked to the kids and they get it....they are so wonderful!! =)
Ok so now .....oh my gosh H lost his job. AGAIN - UGH! (just so ya'll know his pattern was to make some sort of change about every 2 1/2 years SERIOUSLLY!! When he left me he had a GReAT job-- so i was who disposed of...now I wonder what will happen.)
THe wierd me yes wishes he would call and tell me his woes. The wierd me wishes that I could be by him and walk through this with him.
It is sad and done...so wierd.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
You are making baby steps, that is what matters Cagz. You are improving. How is everything? I have been thinking about your sitch also.
What is the status of H losing his job?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Happy Memorial Day! I'm still in my pajamas... which is pretty lazy, but who cares? I'm drinking my coffee and snarfing down some cinnamon rolls that D14 made for late breakfast. Yum!
Wow, pretty interesting that your kids associate his job losses with moving. Something to store in your noggin for future use? Maybe your next move should celebrate something positive going on in your life? That way, you all can have a new association with moving?
For the record, I think you're a dolt but not a liar. I have seen absolutely NO manual that stipulates moving forward means completely erasing memories of the past. If that were true, my friend, then NOBODY would learn ANYTHING from past experiences, right? It's a gradual process, Cagz. Some day, you'll get to the point where remembering is no longer painful. You may not even realize it immediately... it caught me off guard when I started being able to watch old home movies with happiness. Then I realized that I had healed some parts of me that I had thought would never heal. Then later on, you'll be able to look at him and the past through the eyes of another person. Why another person? Because you're changing. In another year, you'll no longer be the person you were before this whole thing started. Some things will be more clear. Others will have healed. Still, others will still be scars that if you pick will still bleed.
Just imagine yourself in a horrible car accident where you were not only hurt physically, but mentally. You wouldn't expect to be over the experience in a jiffy, would you? Same thing applies here. This has been a train wreck of epic propotion. You and your kids survived, but there are still plenty of issues that you are all dealing with. And you ARE dealing with them.
Cut yourself some slack, girlfriend. This is all moving forward according to God's plan for you--not yours. It's frustrating as heck, but it is definitely happening.
Okay, time for me to hop in the shower so I can at least get something accomplished today. I want to take the dog for a walk before it rains. We're heading to a neighbor's house for a BBQ (probably going to be the indoor variety) and time's a wasting while I'm lounging around in my pajamas and robe.
Hope your holiday weekend ends on a positive note! You deserve it!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Betsey
I have seen absolutely NO manual that stipulates moving forward means completely erasing memories of the past. If that were true, my friend, then NOBODY would learn ANYTHING from past experiences, right? It's a gradual process, Cagz. Some day, you'll get to the point where remembering is no longer painful. You may not even realize it immediately... it caught me off guard when I started being able to watch old home movies with happiness. Then I realized that I had healed some parts of me that I had thought would never heal. Then later on, you'll be able to look at him and the past through the eyes of another person. Why another person? Because you're changing. In another year, you'll no longer be the person you were before this whole thing started. Some things will be more clear. Others will have healed. Still, others will still be scars that if you pick will still bleed.