Since my last thread locked up on me and my emotions lately have been bouncing from one end of the spectrum to the other, well.... much like a BB in a boxcar on a train moving at full speed.... I guess this thread is aptly named.
Well the roofing job was completed and yes, there was much fanfare. For a couple days I felt like a goofy teeneage girl. But I kept myself in check for the most part and managed to keep from fumbling my words and falling all over myself whenever I talked with the bare chested beefcake contractor! But dang!!!!! Yes.... I did get to speak with him on a personal level and he said the guys were kinda pokin' fun at him cause he'd jump every time I came outside and come over to talk to me. HAHA.... that made me laugh! The conversation took place via text msging.... odd, but what the heck. He said that he was a little afraid of it not being professional if he came off as flirting with a client and he hoped I didn't see it that way. I assured him that he was completely professional and promised I wouldn't stop payment on the check!
The conversation yeilded enough for me to know that I am probably better off not flirting any further. He is seperated currently and has 3 kids 12 and under. Figures....
On other fronts.... I'm finding all sorts of crazy emotions coming to the surface with my son's graduation approaching at mach speed. I struggled with wanting to send X an invitation. As I've mentioned he was the step-dad.... so it was sort of a sticky kind of situation. There are his parents who were very involved at one point in all our lives and I wanted in a way to have them share this as well but there is no relationship between us now and since X has moved on with a new wife and her kids. Seeing them all together in church on sundays still finds a way to bite at me but also shows me it would not be a good idea for anyone. In the end... I just asked my son what he thought and he considered it for a couple minutes. And with a simple shake of his head and a "nah... prolly not" he was set in his choice. It's amazing to me how levelheaded and mature my ordinarily extremely typical teenage son is.... for just a minute there I saw the look in his eyes that made me want to cry.... cause I know his heart misses X.... but it only took him minutes to surmise the wisdom in his decision. That was it.... he was done with it and all my wrestling with it seemed unnecessary.
OKAY.... enough with the emotional stuff.... who wants a drink?
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
