OLD NEWS Wife gave me talk ILYNILWY speech 12/07, she is still living with me and the kids, can't handle it, wasn't cut-out for stay at home mom, wants out, never said when yet and hasn't started looking for full time work yet. She is going to leave the kids with me. Several days before Christmas, I found out there is another man, says its only emotional affair but she will not give up seeing him, I went through all the hanging on stuff, letters, flowers, cards, holding her at night, kissing her before work, she said she no longer loves me, doesn't think she ever did love me. We haven't been intimate with each other in several months. I'm using LRT right now, stopped calling her, sending her letters, following her around all that crap, I have been looking at changing my life 180 stuff. I do believe in what others have said on these posts about working on yourself, being happy with yourself, if you do end up getting divorced, you did everything you could and your have and should continue to improve yourself. I get up in the morning one hour before everyone else to go to church (Catholic) to pray and think.
NEW NEWS/JOURNAL: We all went to the pool yesterday, wow it has been raining in St Louis for the last several days, we did get some swimming in, water was cold, kids turned blue. BBQ, were the only family sitting out in the terrible weather BBQing, we were committed to having a good time, or should we be committed.
W told owner of pool, we are a family that consistently considers the glass half full. W talked about moving out, that she was going to talk to D9 about it this week, I told her to do it on a night we are all home together. It was tuff, sitting, swimming, with W in her bikini wow, she is good looking. Told W I would remain faithful eventhough I know there is only a 1-in-million chance she will want to come back, Told her I would remain faithful for awhile.
She is taking bedroom set (she had it before we got married), she is taking dinning room set, and frontroom furniture. Will give me a fresh start to furnish house the way I like, she has no taste, buys oversized furniture for a small room and you cannot get around, has a settee in the dinning room ?? I already found a dinning room table I like, right now kids eat at the center island in the kitchen (W could not handle kids eating and making a mess on her dinning room table)
W left already this morning, to run, shop, what ever she wants. I told her before she left, that I will not miss that part, "her leaving first thing in the morning on the weekends"
I asked her who was going to help her move (probing for her to say OM) she said she was going to hire a moving company for the big stuff (neighbor will be all over that asking questions and neighbor is a direct link to W's mom) and she was going to move the little stuff, I told her I would help her move the little stuff out.
A number of people have posted this, but I believe I seen it at lwb post last, about how helpful going to church is, The kids and I go every week and it helps soooo much, trying to be involved as much as I can in the parish (kids and myself). FYI yesterdays sermon priest talked about how going to church helps drive the devil away/temptation away.
You know what I miss so much, being touched by my W, being held, kissed and loved. Has everyone heard of Maslows Hierarchy Of Needs, well touch affection, is number two I believe after food and shelter. People need to be touched and feel affection, I'm sure this is a craving most of us in BD land feel
I'm going to be happy, helpful, forgiving, patient and loving. Not just to W and kids, but to everyone I know and meet. This is me, this is how I want to live my life, this may not be the best course of action to save a marriage, but its the best way to live my life. The right path is always the hardest.
We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.
M45 W41 M10 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 no sex yet ?? let me hope !!! W moving out June 1st - 8 days
