MrsH For a long time after teh bomb I used to think like you - be afraid to be optimistic and positive because when something bad happened it seemed worse than if I was pessimistic all of the time.
It is an absolutely normal response. We protect ourselves , as we think, by expecting the worst and then when it happens, we are not disappointed. The glass half enpty syndrome.
What about NO EXPECTATIONS and a habit of gratitude for what is good? The glass is just what it is, and if there is something in it, be grateful and if there isn't accept it. It is living in the moment. Having expectations is living in the future, derived from what happened in the past.
You do not know that the future will be terrible, but most wise peole think that if we hope for the best and prepare ourselves for the worst, that is the best way to recognise the good things that DO flow into our lives, and they do.
Example MrsH. You are so lucky to have parents who love you. I am an orphan, with one much older brother who is kind but not interested in me. My husband is also horrible to me. It is one reason why I empathise so much.
Truly I understand, and I write, not to be critical, but to stress that so much of our happiness lies in our attitude to what happens to us. Not all of it, I admit. Bad stuff happens, but it drags us down faster oddly enough if we are pessimistic. We think it doesn't, but it does.
Another example: a person applies for a job, and doesn't get it. A pessimist says 'Oh I am unemployable' An optimist sayd, 'that wasn't the job for me, I will keep on applying'. Who is more likely to get a job? No guarantees that the optimsit will get one, but it is more likely. At the end of his life will he be MORE broken because he was unsuccessful? I suspect not.
I wish I could give you a hug, and some positive vibes.
