Here is a quick update on my sitch since I last posted:
We took a family vacation last month for one week (somewhere we had always promised to take D). Had a blast, and the ex was very affectionate, talking about past "good things" between us and joking sexually. Even though we shared a room, she would even let me see her naked while changing. Anyways, the last two nights we were there she ended up hoping in bed with me, asking at first for backrubs, then just wanting me to hold her.
It was nice, but I didn't put too much into it - not wanting to fall into that trap again and have my heart broke more.
So we came back on mother's day and she invited me to her grandmas for dinner. While there she was showing off pictures from the trip telling everyone how much fun we had, telling them how good I looked in my swim trunks, and then proceeded to make plans to go back there in december with her sister's family (talking as if we were together as a family ourselves).
Still took it all as being friendly, until I got an email back from her (I had sent a couple of pics and said thanks for a great time, I had fun, you know smal talk). The email basically said:
I had a blast with you as well. We can talk about things I do miss you. But we need to talk about them slowly. I really do think that that car accident did mess something up which lead to the divorce. I am sorry and I can never repair that but its a new life for us so all the old items would have to be gone. We will have to talk about a few items and maybe who knows we can try again slowly. I am going to see if I can try and break the lease and join you both. I am not changing the way I am but I now better understand things.
If we try again we do it slowly and no promises...We have to work through a few things like trust, your family, region (as I don't believe like you do, I like my stuff and you have to respect that). Want to talk one day how about in the Bahamas? OK OK just kidding how about a date and dinner when I come back?"
So me being absolutley shocked and not knowing what to say wrote back saying it would be nice to talk once she returned from her other trip. She then wrote back "so yes we want to try and become a family again and forgot about the past or no?"
Then next week when she came back she was busy with work and her league. I let her dictate bringing it up, and never heard anything, until this weekend when she called asking if she could spend time with me and D doing whatever we were on Friday. We hung out, ate, laughed, then she stayed to watch a movie. I offered her my bed for the night and she took it, but pulled the backrub trick again and then had me hold her (no hanky-panky which I was actually relieved about).
Saturday she stayed most of the day with D and I, then had to go home to clean and came back a few hours later to a party at mutal friends. We hung out there, then she asked to stay the night again. She climbed in bed with me again.
The next morning I woke up and she had made breakfast for me with D. We hung out and went shopping for D and the ex was talking about going on a vacation we used to take ever year, asking me finance stuff like we were going to be together again in the future, and things like that.
It wasn't until the end of the day that she menitoned I had never replied to her last email (about wanting to try to be a family again). I was honest and told her maybe and we could talk about it.
It has almost been too overwhelming for me, and I don't know what to think with so many emotions and feelings coming out. It's like my prayers were answered yet my greatest nghtmare has come true.
I know we need to talk so I think I will maybe ask if she wants to go to dinner just the two of us and talk then. Any advice, input or suggestions from everyone would be great!!
