If you think that not seeing him would help you to rein in your emotions, then do it. I rarely see my H these days (actually saw him yesterday for a few minutes and today for a bit as he was at our house with D13 when I got home with D16) and I implemented that b/c I was having such a hard time emotionally. If you go dark and it doesn't produce the results you'd like you can always change things again.
Give yourself some credit for how good you did esp in his presence with a few drinks in you. Ok, so you cried later.....in from of him you did good.
