Well it sounds like you have major control issues and the more you try to control:
1. Knowing what she is doing, why she is doing it, who she is doing it with, etc.
2. What she does with you, how much time she spends with you, what she tells you, etc.
you are smothering her and driving her away.
I think that is why she took a vacation without you. The more you try to keep her with you because you are afraid of her leaving you, you are actually forcing her out.
Do you know the story of the cloud and the sun?
They both admire the coat a man is wearing down below. The cloud bets the sun that it can get the man's coat off. The cloud blows and blows but the more wind that comes, the tighter the man holds his coat on.
Then the sun tries and all it does is smile.
It gets so hot that the man on his own volition takes off his coat.
You need to do the exact opposite of what you are doing. You need to not contact her at all. When she contacts you, you need to sound happy and you need to not ask her about anything she is doing, other than a polite how are you.
You need to not talk about the relationship. And you need to let her change her phone service and anything else she says she is going to do without asking why or suggesting a different plan. You need to let go. That is the only possible way you can get her back.
And you need to be friendly and sound happy and warm and busy. Not like "Oh you hurt me, I'm devastated." That is not attractive.
And I would suggest reading the Bottomless Pit story about how Dr. Phil helped that couple.
You need to take responsibility for your control issues.
