Its been a difficult week. I realy got very depressed and started to miss W like crazy. This was triggered by a mutal friend letting slip about new OM thinking i knew. I got where they met ( party month ago ) that he is separated , name and occupation. I surprised myself by how much this affected me and I nose dived into what I could best describe as a pit of dispair. To top it off I was having vivid dreams of W being with me in bed I would wake and be alone.
During this I txt W.
" I have been a bit of a mess over last day or two" W - Its all good we all have bad days " I know , I have to let you go dont i ?" W - Wots brought this on? who you been talking 2? "its getting close to a year and I have lost my way a bit. I not angry or upset at you in any way" W- Answer my question? Who hve u been talking Too? Im still in lymbo as i havnt broken away completely have I ? " Not sure what you are getting at talking 2 someone , is there something i should know?" No. Just you hardly said Boo about your Bday party. Dont know you have been secretive
Then she started to talk about a mutual friend who has never taken sides and said that this friend would be manipulating my feelings against her etc etc.
and this deteriorated in an instant too
U couldnt wait to tell everyone I was such a hoe! U know what I havent told anyone , cause I am too ashamed of what I have done ! So yeah Im the bad one like you say ! " i not sure I ever said that , I hope I treated you with understanding if not I appologise"
I turned the phone off , I had done enough damage .
Then we can fast forward.................................................to yesterday.
W turns up mid afternoon , worse for wear after a long night out , stays on the couch watching TV , says very little . was there at dinner time so i fed her , fell asleep for a while then left. never even mentioned the other night.
I sat there watching her while she slept and though to myself what am I thinking? This woman has issues that go way beyond me .
her visit lifted my depression like magic.
I think I am off to the MLC forum with all the others who have Crazey spouses.
