We all have bad days. Tomorrow will be better. I love that you want to be her friend, without the expectation that she needs to be your partner. I'm new, too, but that's the kind of love/attitude it seems that successful DBers have used to rescue their relationships and themselves.
You wrote: "she has told me its so easy to talk to people online because it does not seem real," and "if she wants to have 5 hours late night conversations it should be with people who care for her and want to help her."
You're right, it doesn't seem logical, but it seems like she's hurting and looking for connections that don't hurt/aren't real/are easy/that she doesn't have to put real emotion into. People who care for her are connected to your life, they mean something to her. Doesn't make it easy on you or right, I know, but empathy helps you detach and understand her behavior instead of personalizing it.
Her online "friends" are not a reflection on you, it's about her issues.
And you've already found a great way to handle the situation, "I guess the best help i can give her is to let her figure it out on her own, to include falling if that’s what it takes, and being here continuing my life and being there for her when she is ready."
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”--Mary Anne Radmacher
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
