Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Right there with ya Snow White. I've lost about 75 lbs on the infidelity diet. And now I'm a weakling.

Well, WW isn't going to my mom's and the grad party tomorrow. Didn't think she would, but now it's official. I told her I wouldn't be being honest if I said it didn't concern me some. She asked why? I told her I was worried OM was coming to visit. She claims he isn't. I asked her if she'd been talking to him and she claims she hasn't. I told her I didn't believe anything I don't see and she said "there's noting to see". I just don't really believe it at this point.

So tomorrow I'm going to call the two hotels of their normal chain that are in the area and ask for OM. See if he's registered.

Part of me really doesn't think he's coming up. WW told me she had a bad week at work (which I know she did) and just wants a day alone to unwind. I guess I can believe that, but I really don't. There goes that trust again.

Today has been ok. We're grilling shortly. Been sitting in the sun since I mowed. WW layed in the sun most of the day. Good golly is she skinny since this started. Almost anexoric (or however you spell that). Her bikini bottom sits on her hip bones when she's lying down so you can see part way down her bottoms (not that I was looking ).

I'm also going to check her car mileage tomorrow morning to verify she isn't driving to meet the loser part way. I know I shouldn't snoop, but these are just a couple more things to help me begin to trust again.

Incidentally, our talk about OM coming up wasn't tense or anything. And today she's been ok, but not overly excited like I would think she'd be if he was showing up. I did see her send a TM at one point while she was outside, but I'm not sure who it was to. maybe the enabler GF, but could be enabler to OM. I've noticed WW is kind of attached to her cell today. Maybe tomorrow will be the final nail in the affair coffin as I'm sure he wants nothing to do with her since I exposed her STD to him. Maybe if she wants him to show up tomorrow and he doesn't, she'll finally figure it out, but it might be too late for me if she does.

By the way, just a question. What's everyone think of this? WW and I haven't ML in over 9 months and it's been since early Dec that WW and OM have seen each other. I would kill to have sex. Would it be ok to just ask WW if she wants to F, no strings, no meaning, no nothing? Just kind of F buddies? Tell her I am not going to cheat on her, but man, 9 months is a long time for a grown man. And yes, I've been having some drinks while watching the Indy 500.