I like reading your posts and about your adventures.
There was a time when I use allow "glitches" in the "institution" to get to me. And there was a time when I spent an awful lot of time engaging in Don Quoxite type windmill chasing - and the only one that ended up tired and pissy was me.
Now - well I am 40 something and have accepted that I will never malevolent/benevolent dictator of the world. The system is the system - outside stuff is outside stuff. And sometimes it works with us - and sometimes against us. I pick and choose my battles based on an assessment of what is in my control and whether choosing to fight that battle will actually accomplish anything.
And sometimes a massage does far more for me that choosing to fight. And many times things blow over on their own.
You can create your own tone on your thread MOM and on the threads of those that you enjoy interacting with. You do add value to the BB. And if the "institution" interferes with that enjoyment - step away till it blows over.
As for feeling safe. You are safe b/c the one thing that you do have control over is your mindset. Just b/c someone else may devalue your opinion does not mean they are right. It is just their opinion - nothing more. If that opinion is way off base - it really is not even worth the energy fighting it (at least the first time) - I find it is better to ignore it unless that person keeps repeatedly crossing my boundaries - then I make a decision to fight or walk away. The only person that defines you is you.
Of course, if posting isn't adding value to your life - then well you are right to step away. I hope you will continue to post. I am getting ready to date myself (yes, I am a wee bit on the slow side) and have gained a lot of insight from your posts.
Sometimes we all reflect. I think your post pretty much explains why so many of us don't frequent as often. That's not to say it is a bad thing, except that we do find ourselves missing so many of our wonderful friends we found here.
Your comments also illustrate another reflection.
The one of a very beautiful soul that has risen from the ashes to fly again, live again, and of course to love again. In all things you rediscover your wonderful self every day. Your thread has been an amazing place as we all watched this happen. It is one of those stories without end that attracts readers back over and over for the next edition, to see what exciting new things will happen to our heroine next. I'm looking forward to reading more when you're ready to share. We all are. Give the kids a hug for all of us and enjoy the better view.
nice to hear from you, I was wondering how you and your boys were doing))))))))))
I hear you, with so many people coming and going stuff is bound to happen, toes will be stepped on and so on and so forth (I had a nice little group in piecing, boy we were like "band of brothers", all but 2 left for various reasons in regards to what happened to their Ms).
I take a break now and then from the boards, when reading about As get to me or when something I read reminds me or makes me question an event. A break is good. Prayers your way hon))))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I have always loved your posts Althea........they mean so much and you were always one who had an impact on my thots. Thank you for this post today..........as usual it is a cream of the crop post.
I know you're doing well - it's so wonderful to hear the updates of those who were around when I was at my neediest. I do believe it was a different kind of chemistry somehow.......but as long as those here now are being helped then it's all good.
you're a treasure for sure........I still check out your website because I love being wowed by your work!
brue
I'm alive, I'm happy - why shouldn't I tell the world I've got my head screwed back on just fine. Life is good for the Brue!
Hey OT! Thanks for checking in love--listen you're in that pile of peeps too--the ones who really helped me get over my pity party--so thanks.
The art is going well, thank you for asking. My work is in a show in Indianapolis and also in NYC right now and it's getting a lot of press, so that's good. I'll be going to teach in Maine in June at a one week camp for miniature artists--I can hardly wait. I've gone there for 5 year but always as a student--this will be my first time as an instructor.
I'm still making things for the movie and will hopefully be going to the premier early next year.
I'll be applying for one of the grants you recommended next month (they still don't have the applications available) so I'm keeping my fingers crossed about that--it's a lot of money and could really make a difference. I hope to use the money to write a book of pattern--upscaling my miniature patterns to full scale so my designs can live on and be knit by many.
I'm 7 CEU's away from completing the requirements for my RT license and I am SO uninspired. I never want work in a hospital again, but being the Capricorn that I am I really feel I need to have it as a back up option.
I'm being asked by knitting shops and museums to give presentations and so this is a new facet to the artists life that provides some additional income and gets me out there networking and meeting people. I'm a pretty outgoing and vivacious person so the speaking gig suits me pretty well. However, I do get a little intimidated when I'm around other artist types because they are always so much more knowledgeable than me, better trained (which isn't difficult as I was never trained as an "artist") and have been in the biz much longer. I find I still go to that place of "Oh crap, am I a real artist or what?" But, I'm learning to accept me for who I am and not try to pretend I'm anything more than what I am. I am an artist becuase I am creative and have original ideas, so that's all I need to know. Besides, after living with Mitch for so long, I have very little tolerance for art snobs who require you to have the proper pedigree before they will give you the time of day-blech.
All in all, life is good. There are no significant others in my life right now--I decided the dating thing was just not working out for me and I got tired of getting my hopes up only to discover they just aren't who I am looking for. Some day I hope to meet someone very special, but for now I feel okay on my own--friends and family are strong and provide a good support system for me. I won't accept a date with anyone unless I feel there is real potential there.
I think about moving out west sometimes. Where there the ocean and mountains feed my soul. I love Oregon and in fact my mom and I want to go out there together this summer and maybe look at some property. It would be a huge upheaval for the children and I don't think I'm ready for it quite yet, but then again, what am I waiting for?
That's about it. Mitch and I speak very seldom--only when we have scheduling issues to work out. I am the primary parent and he sees them once a month or so, though it will be much less in the years to come--he will be in Berlin for 6 months come 2009 and then living in Maryland. This summer though I will have significant blocks of free time and have scheduled a scuba trip for a week in July.
I still feel sad sometimes. Something happened with the screen saver on my computer and it switched to being a slide show of all my pictures and suddenly I was confronted with tons of old pics of my family--the babies when they were born and me and mitch juggling our little brood and it brought me back to better days. I loved him so very much and I know he adored me as well. He treated me like a princess, I swear. He thought I was beautiful and he wrote notes for me every morning, cooked dinner every night, he brought me flowers and gifts and he made me things and he called when he was traveling and wrote me and he was a good husband for so long. He also made me laugh and I made him laugh. I do miss him and all that we shared together. But I know that I would never have become who I am now if all of this had not happened I like myself so much better than I did when I was in the marriage.
I wonder if I will ever find anyone who meets my standards. Mitch had so many great qualities. Sure, he was an arrogant snob, but he loved me and no one I've met or dated has even come close. They must be out there though, right...?
Anyway, I'm good and I'm lucky and I am, for the most part, quite happy.
He treated me like a princess, I swear. He thought I was beautiful and he wrote notes for me every morning, cooked dinner every night, he brought me flowers and gifts and he made me things and he called when he was traveling and wrote me and he was a good husband for so long. He also made me laugh and I made him laugh. I do miss him and all that we shared together. But I know that I would never have become who I am now if all of this had not happened I like myself so much better than I did when I was in the marriage.
I wonder if I will ever find anyone who meets my standards. Mitch had so many great qualities. Sure, he was an arrogant snob, but he loved me and no one I've met or dated has even come close. They must be out there though, right...?
You know, I've thought about this question a lot - how does a spouse who is overly demonstrative of their love suddenly turn it off? My h described it as "the well running dry". I think my take on it is this: the more "romantic" the H, the more needy they are of attention and the dopamine high of romance. Therefore, the more vulnerable they are to an affair when life settles into a routine, or the W is preoccupied with the kids, or in my case and yours, when thyroid disease and the fatigue that goes with it makes you somewhat less than the sparkling partner they married.
"Romantics" don't seem to have the staying power when things get rough because they are too dependent on that dopamine high.
Perhaps your next guy should be less of a romantic (and less of a snob!) and more of a solid rock.
Sounds like you are doing great with your art! Don't fret about those last CEUs, just crank them out and be done with it. I know some part of you is resisting it because finishing means going back to work as an RT, but remember, you don't HAVE to take that job. Finishing up your credential just means you have the OPTION, and options are good, right?
As ever Althea that was an inspiring post. I'm so pleased for you that your art is starting to take off in a big way. We all have those moments when we remember with fondness and then sadness former times with our WAS. I think it shows progress that you can feel more fondness than sadness. I'm sure like my there was once a time when you couldn't look at these photos w/o crumbling into a heap for a week.
Your doing good and that's great.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Wow, Ellie. That is exactly what I've wondered about for a long time now. Your take is right on for me. Thank you!
Althea, I understand what you mean about the BB these days. I've been thinking about this for a while as well. I won't take the space on your thread to ponder--just wanted to say I hear you, sister!
FWIW, I don't see a back-up option as a bad thing. It's like having a little money in the bank to tide you over if you need it.
