My Dad says that H is "playing me." That he knows just the right words to say to get to me. In a way, I can see that, but I don't believe it totally. I think the things H is saying to me is really how he is feeling. I don't think he is saying them because he wants to hurt me more than I am already hurt. But he is really, really messed up in the head and his actions aren't matching his words. He even said so. Sara
Sara,
I think the important thing is that you base your actions and decisions on what you want and think and feel.
In alien mode, the alien says and does a lot of crazy things...sometimes contradictory.
Believe none of what they say and half of what they do.
With a source THAT unreliable, why would you base your decision on anything they do?
You can transcend any situation IF you are willing and able to do so. Some people can get past and work through an affair, others aren't. There's no right or wrong in that; it's what you are able to deal with.
So, base your decision on what gives you peace. Divorce will still be an option two weeks from now or a year from now. If you aren't ready for it, then bide your time. I *do* think it's important for you to protect yourself financially. What about a legal separation? That would essentially be like divorce without the ending of the M...and it would give your H a taste of what it would be like while protecting you.
H may get it together or he may not.
What does Sara want and feel comfortable with right now? WITHOUT considering what H is saying/doing?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
