You should not even entertain conversations like this with your husband. Yes, your WORDS to him are "You're not welcome here (physically or emotionally) so long as you are having an affair," but your ACTIONS -- your friendship, support (including financial) and willingness to be his shoulder to lean on -- all scream "I'm here for you, regardless."
Puppy is right.
I don't think your "stand" has to be filing for D if that isn't what you want right now. If he wants to break up with OW but is scared of her...then he can file a restraining order. You are in a position where you can require certain things from him.
Can you file for a legal separation to get him out of the house and protect yourself finacially?? I know some states don't have that.
I am so sorry you are going through this right now.
