Thanks, thegoodfight, goingforward, and kat. I'm hanging in there this weekend. It's going ok.
stubborn, I see you made a new topic for this, but I will answer your question. I am reading: Not Just Friends, Divorce Busting, Divorce Remedy, After the Affair, Love the One You're With (fiction). I also have some books that I bought early on and never read that I am starting to peruse: Family First, Love Smart, Getting the Love You Want (has a workbook). I have also read the Mars and Venus book, and the Love Language book. I'm an big reader and this is one way I learn.
I am really trying to do what the books say about showing loving feelings by actions. The feelings are suppose to follow. I have to tell you that this is VERY hard because I am going on faith here. My heart and gut is making me feel like this won't work. I want my family SO BAD, though, that I will try EVERYTHING. I am even trying to MAKE myself positive because I don't want my negativity influencing the outcome either.
Mark- as usual, you are right. Please continue to remind me. I need to hear it over and over. This OM is NOT a good person, and my H is the most caring and understanding man ever. I have to remind myself that it is fantasy. This is so hard because the feelings are real. Please just keep reminding me. I know you must be getting frustrated hearing me continue to say these things.
Update: Yesterday, went to big park and hiked on beautiful trails, had a picnic by the lake, layed in the sun while S dug in the sand and played near water. We took pictures of us smiling together. H seems to be doing all the right things and I seem to be doing all the right things, but it still feels like something is missing. I have to admit that I thought at a couple of moments how everything would be so much more fun being with the OM. But, then the more I thought about it, I started thinking of some of the bad things OM would have done, too. This is new, and good. So, I didn't totally romanticize how it would have been like I normally would have. I guess that is some kind of progress. By the time we got home, I just wanted to relax. H let me do this...we did our own thing (he watch TV, and I read books).
Today, we are having my parents over for dinner so my day is busy with cleaning and preparing before they come. I like "family time". I have to remind myself that "family time" with H would be wayyyyyyy better than "family time" with OM. He would NOT have fit in with my family like my H does. NOrmally I would try not to compare, but since the OM does not fair well in this comparison, I will.
