If your husband is confused, it is completely within his control to end this madness.
Why do you want to be with someone who is so morally weak??
I know this is MUCH easier for us on the outside, looking in, but from where I sit, this is SOOO close to busting wide open, if you would only take a firm stand with him.
I don't think he's "playing you" per se. I do think he's sharing his heart with you, as fogged out and as weak as it is. What your dad is seeing, though, is that you FALL for all of it. He obviously loves you, and wants to see you finally take a stand with your husband.