Late in the Game-thread 6, maybe last in separated

[cw68]

Interesting day today. Last Saturday it was 102. Today it was a high of 61 and rainy. D's birthday was supposed to be outside with mini-golf, bumper boats and water wars. In the morning we switched it to a pajama/movie party at our house.

I didn't get to wake up with my kids, but they got to wake up with me. This morning before work I went over to the apartment and got to wake them up. Seeing their smiling faces when they realized it was me there was priceless. My heart soared!

I DBed like a champ today. There were a few times where the old CW would have brought a few things up, but I held firm and didn't say a word. I made an effort to be extra playful. The party was fun. At some point during the day my weekend plans came up and I said simply that I was going out of town. I did mention that I was going to Tahoe next weekend so he knew that wasn't it. (It snowed in Tahoe today, not sorry I missed it now!) I specifically walked away so he couldn't ask me any more about it. After the party, D and I went to the store to buy her Heelys as a gift from her father and I. When I came back, H was cooking dinner here. He had invited to me to dinner earlier and I was planning on eating at the apartment. I said, "Oh, you're making dinner here?" and he said, "Yes, is that a problem?" What was I supposed to say? "Um, yes, I have to clean up from the party and don't want to clean up from dinner? I was looking forward to you stepping up to this life you've chosen?" Dinner was nice. Afterwards I mentioned something about him cleaning up. A little waves, but nothing much. He cleaned up. (He's not a clean cook, so it really is a job.) Then he asked if I would like the kids to stay the night since he is spending the next two days with him. Yes, yes, yes!

My S was just a love bug today. Super cuddly. Loved it. When he was brushing his teeth I asked him if he had a good day and he said, "I had the best day of my life. I just love it when you and Dad are together." I didn't even look at my H or comment on it.

After the kids went to bed, H and I went down to the kitchen. First, he didn't take off right after they went down, which is the usual. Then he asked how the wine was that I opened the other day and poured himself a small glass to taste. (It wasn't very good the other day and sitting out since Thurs didn't improve it.) We chatted a bit. Old me would have asked if he wanted to stay for a movie, but I didn't. He started to leave, came over and hugged me for a long time, but no kiss. I didn't say or do a thing about it. We walked to the door, he found a couple of reasons not to leave immediately. I was standing on the stairs, not planning on hugging him again and I took the no kiss as a little sign. He walked over and hugged me for a very long time, kissed me, hugged me again and kissed me one more time. I simply said, "Thanks."

So, all in all, interesting day. I seriously can't tell where my H is leaning, but I'm just trying to keep on keeping on. Still haven't decided if I need to LRT or not. Tuesday I am meeting with a L and will draw up papers so I can have them ready to file should I feel I need to.

I'm tired! Eight girls wore me out.