You got someone to blame / You say ...

[MichelleLT]

I am loving that I have time to relax this weekend. I really need some time to catch up on chores and relax a bit.

Unfortunately...that also means I have way too much time to think.

And H's away message says "getting the hell out of town" - and all I can think is that I just want to go with him. Doesn't even matter where.

So I'm watching The Last Boy Scout...waiting for Under Seige to come on...doing laundry...and sitting here by myself as my roommate is at her second job right now.

I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of turning down dates and pointing out that I am married. (of course, about 99% of those would have been a "no" anyways...but there's been a couple that actually seemed like decent enough guys) I'm sick of being my H's second or third choice. I'm sick of being lonely. I'm sick of walking on eggshells every time I see or talk to H.

And while seeing my MIL is always fun as she is a wonderful person, it also always dredges up a lot of memories of happier times and the family I can't have at the moment.