Hello to new friends and old. It has been one year since I kicked out my husband for his anger and depression which was actually compounded by his affair and things are going well for me and my kids. My husband has also been kicked out of his mistress's place (four months ago) so he has found a small apartment and a new job in town. He sees the kids more regularly but the child support is shoddy at best. He is still angry and depressed but he feigns politeness but there is still resentment on his part. He seems so negative about my positive life style so what can I do about tha?. I know divorce busting works because if I wanted him to come back home he would but he has been so destructive with his life and health that I no longer want to save this marriage. He is probably now 5'8 and 110 lbs, about 30 lbs less than me and I wear a size 6 in woman's! I still do not know why he looks so awful, Grave's disease, anorexia, drugs, emo, who knows but he still dresses like loon in half shirts and high heeled boots! A lot of people assume he is a gay drug abuser. Who knows? I am embarrased for my kids when we are in public togeter. Sorry but Michele does say that most marriages should be saved unless there is abuse and I must say this could be abuse because he acts like a real pr%&k most of the time.
Everything else is great though. I am calming down my libido by staying single for now. Men are just too complicated and I want to get my house in order. We still have not filed and it has been one year. I have kept my peace about his adutry until today. He was so meanspirited about my parenting skills and my S3's attitude about eating and dressing that I finally told him off.
I said, "You have shown no contrition for what you have done to this family. Every night I have to listen to nasty drunken stories about your gross behavior chasing after young girls , acting like you are 19 in the back of some adult boutique. How dare you negate me in my house in front of my kids." I did it. Good for me.
BTW I work in our family business which is a niteclub where he used to work and pick up on young girls unbeknownst to me and my mother. He then started living with a girl almost half his age who worked down the street in an adult boutique. So yeah, he flaunted his disgusting affair practically in our street windows. jerk.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I've read some of your posts, can't recall much other than you are a very strong woman. You seem to be doing great and moved on, good for you!!!! so glad you finally have the peace you deserve. Living with a zombie is no fun (BTDT) and now I also have peace, as the D paperwork is getting all set up.
It seems we did us a favor by telling them to go and take their misery elsewhere.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hey Y'all. I would like to update for anyone who may still remember me, if not "Howdy!" I am so thankful for DBing! I feel that divorce is inevitable but I can accept that. Today during my nap I dreamt things were they used to be, the way they are supposed to be. My happy hubby coming home from work and my kids running for the door yelling, "Daddy! Daddy's home!"
In reality, my husband's homecoming is so sad and strained. My children are torn because they want to act happy to see their father but they feel pulled away from me. Currently, they spend Saturday nights at his apartment which is not yet furnished so they sleep in sleeping bags and eat microwave food. That seems fine but family life has definitely diminished.
Aren't we all mourning that loss? I sure am. I began thinking how we may never go to an amusement park as a family again. Even though we try to be friendly my STBX is so repulsive it takes everything I have got to act happy.
I mean it. He went from being a loyal, super pretty cute Dad to becoming a nasty perverted looking freak. Yuck. It is so embarrassing to be at the park and hear nasty comments thrown out at him from cruel teenagers and even bully Dads. Ever see the movie "Little Children" where the child molester swims in the pool and the whole neighbourhood clears out? My ex looks just as disturbing by the way he dresses like a kid and looks like a loon.
Sigh. Sorry for the rant. But I worry for my D6. I feel like a broken record here but it helps to vent even after a year. I almost wish he would just move away. I am hurt that his parents give him money for an apartment so that he can stay close to the kids. I wish he would just move away with them back East. Is that a horrible wish? I feel that he is a bad influence. Everything about his mid life crisis is nebulous. There are rumours of drugs, infidelities, homosexuality, etc. but no real facts?? Affair, yes. Abuse, yes. But what else is he capable of? Does anyonbe else just wish their spouse would disappear for the sake of the kids? Is there any study to show which is better? My mom paid off my Dad to leave and I am glad he did. My mother in law ran away from her abusive exhusband and never looked back!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
((((MK))))) I feel that way about my ex. This is not my first marriage (nor second for that matter, its my third, apparently I have not learned anything but there is always time for me to try!) The first one is non-existent, and the second is a bane in my side, but I put up with him for the sake of our daughter. {{{sigh back at ya}}} this too shall pass.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thanks Lola. Sorry I am not on here like I used to be DAILY!!! I am busy busy busy GALing and working the single parent route with two jobs now and no child support.
Happy Father's Day to all! I had a change of heart and decided to take the kids to see their Daddy at work. I usually avoid him like the plague and stay dark unless necessary but he was sooo happy that I made the gesture to see him with the kids.
It is funny. I could tell his coworkers were shocked to see me. I am way cuter aND YOUNGER LOOKING than my STBXH now because he looks so drained after his MLC and my PMA and GAL makes me look 25 lbs better and 10 years younger. You all know what I mean.
Surviving an affair is like getting a total life makeover, am I right?
MORE GOSSIP on H's affair. Well his OW ended it with him about 6 months ago and now she is pregnant and engaged to someone else!! How must my H feel about throwing away a marriage and family for some flighty kid who gets knocked up by some other flighty kid on the street?? I know the affair was not the only reason our marriage failed, that it was just a byproduct, but still. My H claimed he wanted to follow passion in his life, that he wanted to start over with someone new. Pullleeeaase! If you are going through this you are not alone. Your spouse will also probably regret their affair so please do not do anything to prolong their affairs. Stay out of it. Let it die a natural death. Stay attractive and positive!!
Good Luck Everyone. I know how hard it is to lose a soul mate, the love of your life and have to feel tormented by the fact that you have to see them all the time for the sake of the kids but stay positive!!!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
(((MK))) sometimes the best revenge is living well...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
You know Chico's???? OMG my soul mate!!! There is a Chico's within walking distance...
You have never experienced true El Paso until you have experienced Chico's!!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
It is sad that my H is still suffering from the lingering effects of his MLC. It has been very hard on his body, face, mind, soul, social status but really bad for his kids and parents,..and ME!!
His MLC: much younger OW (she worthless faceless weak sad kid/ orphan with a teen mom my H's age and it is over anywho just like Michele said it would be!!!), caused by depression, sleep deprivation, non existent sex life, two young kids, stress at work, no money, ineffectual parenting, etc. All a recipe for a D, right? And where was I? Nursing my baby probably also feeling the very unsexy Mommy Blues.
MY MLC: If you can call it that, yoga, smoking only 3 cigs per day (YUCK!), drinking (like one or two a night) weight loss, new friends, new hair color covering grey, new younger beau(s), rediscovered libido BIG TIME, less quality time with the kids, retail therapy, and guilt shopping for kids, nonstop reading about affairs and divorce. I look good and feel OK, just tired. I hace decided to be alone for a while until I stop feeling so confused and lost with the MLC.
Last edited by mkultra; 06/16/0810:37 PM.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
