Can always count on me to be hanging around with nothing to do on a Saturday night. I believe that this is from one of the DB books or articles, I have seen it written a number of times. If you could push a magic button today and be divorced what would you be doing differently with your life? And why don't you do it now?
I have thought about this a few times with my legal separation papers. Everything I am doing would be the same with the exception I guess of being a little less hypersensitive to attention from men. I wouldn't be going out looking for dates, I am already living alone and taking care of things that way as I know you are too. Really I would be a little less well off financially since H is still just taking an "allowance". For those reasons I am in no rush either.
You are not addicted to your husband, you are in love with him. The oddness of his behaviour makes it even easier (in my opinion) to see that he is having some sort of mental issues which then again makes it easier to believe that if these issues can be resolved your real H will return.
Remember in the end it is your decision to make, of course your family and friends would like to see the pain stop. And dads are really protective. My dad was the last person close to me to know. He has hardly said boo which is very out of character for him. However, my mom had an affair on him 10 years ago - they are still together - so he understands that it isn't as black and white as many people looking in think it is.
Take care,
Denise
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
