You need to get out. You have put your LIFE on hold for him and that is very unattractive.
Focus on yourself. Get a make-over, get new clothes and join some kind of activity group where you meet other single people your age and go have fun!
And let him know you are filing for divorce. And then do it.
You need to live for yourself because if he never comes back you will have a wonderful life!
And if he does come back, it will only be when you have a life for YOURSELF, and he senses you are no longer waiting around for him, and maybe, even if he wanted you now, he couldn't have you. Because THAT's attractive.
